Thursday, March 26, 2009

That's Not What I Meant...

I was re-reading my post "My Little Leaguer" and I was startled by what I wrote in my last paragraph. Do you ever go back and re-read your posts and think, "Heavens! That's NOT what I meant!!" My heart did NOT come through at all on this one.

So, it sounded like I was saying that I was so incredibly consistent, and so wonderfully prayerful, and am such a hard worker when it came to raising my Jackson. But honestly, what was in my heart when I wrote that was every failure, every frustrating day, every day that I did not have a CLUE what to do. I was remembering all the times I WASN'T consistent. All the times I gave in. And I was remembering, in the midst of trying to train him up, how I carried two of my babies to term, and how much of a louse of a parent I was during those months, and how much TV the kids had to watch while I was sleeping on the couch in the middle of the day, and how tired and grouchy I was...

And then (and only then) was I remembering that through the Lord's help (and the help of my sister and Lindy and a stack of books) how I kept on getting back on that horse, and did not throw my hands up and just give up. But it was not me who was faithful in all these years. It was my Lord. He was my Guide, my Help, my Source. He gently brought me back time and time again to training Jackson properly. He. He. He. Never me.

So, in case my horrible attempt at encouragement left a sour taste in your mouth, I hope that this clarification serves as a little bit of Listerine. Now, hear these words again: if you have a Jackson in your quiver, do not - do not - do not give up. Run to your Lord OFTEN for wisdom and strength. Knock on the doors of other moms who have done it before. Keep at the discipline (in order to succeed you must be willing to fail sometimes, too). Because there is fruit - beautiful fruit - in this labor.

3 comments:

Ginger@chirgies said...

Oh Jenne, I was going to comment on your post about Jackson - and then life got busy...but I did not take you as being proud the first time around, but Thank you for your encouragement! I'm realizing how much I've let discipline things slide with Luke - and how annoying his whining is, etc. Time to ratchet it up a bit and be consistent with following through on obeying mommy, the first time, right away.

And I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your Easter basket/egg idea! As one who grow up never doing the basket-thing or ever having dyed an egg before, I felt kind of like the 'no-fun, bad' mom, since I never did it for my kids either. But now the idea is actually appealing and inspiring! Thanks!

Brandy said...

I didn't pick up on that either! I was just encouraged...Grace is my "Jackson" I guess you could say. She keeps me on my toes...but boy do I love that kid. God has great things in store for her. I know it. Thanks for the reminder of that!

psychninja said...

Dear Jenne - I am hugging you from Colorado!! We do all things through Christ who strengthens us, so I think the line between what WE do and what God does through us is pretty indefinite. Regardless of how much God pushes, prods and encourages us, we still have to be willing to follow His lead; to give up what would be easiest (let things go) and act, no matter how tired and worn we feel, in the best interest of our children. SoI think there's a little room for patting yourself on the back for all the times you are willing to do the hard thing. I think God rejoices every time we make that choice, and I am certain that He rejoices in you just as you rejoice when you see your beloved children making honorable choices!