It strikes me as ironic that of the 15 parenting tips I have penciled out to add to this blog, none of them is particularly helpful to the parenting situation I find myself in right now. One of my children who honestly has not caused me much grief throughout his life is, well, causing me grief.
I better come clean: I am causing him an equal amount of grief, I think. Okay, more grief.
His sudden scatter-brained mind has turned my responsible child into Mr. Unreliable. This ordinarily obedient one is pushing limits - not direct defiance, just delaying or being silly a moment too long or not attending to my voice. The one child that I count on to NOT need much discipline now needs guidance of some sort or another. Further complicating matters are the struggles he is having with homework. He toils over that dumb weekly packet! His attempts at perfectionism drag homework out sooooo long. He has come to that place in his education where he has concluded that school is not actually fun but rather is just a bunch of hard work. And all I can think to do is raise my voice or tell him to hurry or lecture, lecture, lecture!
All that to say, I am clueless. Clueless and frustrated. And at the end of the day, I know two things: first, I know that if I continue in the way I am behaving toward him it will be certain disaster for his heart and our relationship. The second thing I know is that I don't know what to do instead.
And so this interruption in Parenting Tips is an admission. I don't know what I am doing any more than anyone else does. I have learned a boat load about parenting all along this journey but its the tip of an iceberg, a drop in the bucket. When it comes to days like today (and yesterday, and the day before), I end the day with a pit in my stomach knowing that I messed up again. Even worse, I knew better and lost my self-control anyway. I do what I do not want to do and don't do what I ought. At the end of the day I want to wake my sunny little boy up and ask for forgiveness just one more time. At the end of the day I am begging my Savior for forgiveness and wisdom and strength.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9)
Purify me from this unrighteousness! Please, Lord. Please. Give me a heart like Yours. Give me a gracious spirit. Fill my mind with Your creativity as I encounter these situations over and over again. Be merciful to our family in this season.
Showing posts with label christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christian. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
An Autumn Hope Check
Hope is the most powerful force we can nurture in our children. It is one of the deepest needs a human has: the need for hope. Without hope comes hopelessness - a terrible state of being. What do kids hope for? Small things like "someday I might have that special toy" and medium things like "I have hope that I am smart enough to do my schoolwork" and big things like "I have hope that my parents cherish me."
Periodically I try to do a "Hope Check" for each of my kids. Am I nurturing hope in their lives? Or am I contributing to a sense of hopelessness in their soul? As a parent I am either doing one or the other. I have yet to be convinced that this is an area in which a parent can be neutral.Without Further Adue, here is my Hope Check
Drake, 1.5 years old, tries with all his might to communicate, but it is a struggle for him to be heard and understood. I can nurture hope in Drake by taking extra time with him, saying aloud what i think he is communicating; mimicking his great enthusiasm, frustration, or other driving emotion.
Weston, 3.5 years old, often finds himself creating strife with Drake. Drake is hard to play with and has become quite good at provoking Weston. While Drake is in this phase of life, being difficult to play with, I can nurture hope in Weston by taking his side, even when he did have some blame in a sibling conflict with Drake. I can be quick to come to his rescue, and I can be careful to not leave Drake unattended with Weston. I can be quick to praise him for little strides toward kindness, generosity and maturity.
Pray: that the Lord would cause him to be a gifted peacemaker.
Jackson, 6 years old, lives in a good place right now. His love tank is full of soccer and PE. He loves school. He loves playing with each of his brothers. In this season of great hope I can nurture our relationship. I can use this quiet season to deepen our bond by being patient as he explains his world to me (I usually don't catch it on the first telling), and look him in the eyes more, and smile at him more, and kiss him more. What great hope that will bring to both of us as we see our mother-son relationship deepen!Pray: that he would grow in his relationship with his Heavenly Parent.
Davis, age 9, has brought homework home - and tears to go along with it. His perfectionistic tendancies drag him down as he struggles to make sure every single letter in cursive is just right. He searches for perfect word after perfect word in writing a fiction story. He quickly panics when spelling lists feel too challenging. He is sad when homework assignments prevent him from joining in playtime with his brothers. I have been nurturing hope in his little heart by encouraging him to NOT write every cursive letter so carefully, and talking about how its OKAY to miss a spelling word. No one is looking for perfect... I can also breath hope into him right now by helping him to gain perspective on school life: that the work load won't always feel overwhelming. Pray: that Davis would experience God's grace on his life at an early age.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Turning 35
I have always said that I look forward to turning 40 because it feels like that is an age where people of many ages (perhaps not all!) respect your thoughts and opinions. I remember being 20 and in college, longing to be 40. OK, not LONGING but not dreading. Anticipating. Now that I am mid-way through my 30's I wonder if it will be all I have anticipated. I must be honest and say that I didn't much care for turning 35 this month. Really, though, it does not much matter if I like it or not. Thirty-five is here, and 40 is near. No amount of pondering will change that!
I listened to a John Piper sermon today that incapsulated one primary lesson I have been learning for the past decade. In speaking of Romans 12 (of course!), he made the point that what the world wants to see from Christian believers is ACTION. And MERCY is what will blow them away. Very simply, says Paul, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."
Being a wife. Mothering children. These are extremely physical occupations: Pulling my head off a pillow to take a little boy potty at midnight. Wrapping my arms around a crying boy who is too upset to verbalize anything. Kissing a boy good night. Reading aloud another chapter of a book that delights a boy's ear and imagination. Tossing a toddler in the air. Changing the diaper of a squirmer. Cooking another meal. Bagging up groceries. Sweeping crumbs. Making sack lunches at nine at night. Offering up myself to my love. Packing and unpacking countless bags. Holding my tongue when my love arrives home later than promised. Offering a smile instead of scorn.
My wilingness to do these things has become less about "doing what I ought" and increasingly about and motivated by my love for the Lord. I desire to present every part of my body as a living sacrifice.
But it is not a "poor me" sacrifice. The verse disallows that! See it there? The sacrifice must be ACCEPTABLE to God. He is not pleased with a woe-is-me attitude. So I note that the change in me over this decade has NOT be an increased willingness to put myself last. The gradual change in me has been a real desire to see each opportunity as a way to use my body for righteousness - in order to glorify the Lord.
My ego-centric self would like to see a day when what I say and do is respected by all. But what rubbish it would be to long for and strive for such a passing reward. Instead, I will look forward to 45 and 55 and 65 and 75 with eagerness and with great hope that the Lord would increase in me the Mercies of God as I worship the Lord with every part of my body.
If you are interested in Piper's sermon (it was really great!) here is the link.
I listened to a John Piper sermon today that incapsulated one primary lesson I have been learning for the past decade. In speaking of Romans 12 (of course!), he made the point that what the world wants to see from Christian believers is ACTION. And MERCY is what will blow them away. Very simply, says Paul, "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."
Being a wife. Mothering children. These are extremely physical occupations: Pulling my head off a pillow to take a little boy potty at midnight. Wrapping my arms around a crying boy who is too upset to verbalize anything. Kissing a boy good night. Reading aloud another chapter of a book that delights a boy's ear and imagination. Tossing a toddler in the air. Changing the diaper of a squirmer. Cooking another meal. Bagging up groceries. Sweeping crumbs. Making sack lunches at nine at night. Offering up myself to my love. Packing and unpacking countless bags. Holding my tongue when my love arrives home later than promised. Offering a smile instead of scorn.
My wilingness to do these things has become less about "doing what I ought" and increasingly about and motivated by my love for the Lord. I desire to present every part of my body as a living sacrifice.
But it is not a "poor me" sacrifice. The verse disallows that! See it there? The sacrifice must be ACCEPTABLE to God. He is not pleased with a woe-is-me attitude. So I note that the change in me over this decade has NOT be an increased willingness to put myself last. The gradual change in me has been a real desire to see each opportunity as a way to use my body for righteousness - in order to glorify the Lord.
My ego-centric self would like to see a day when what I say and do is respected by all. But what rubbish it would be to long for and strive for such a passing reward. Instead, I will look forward to 45 and 55 and 65 and 75 with eagerness and with great hope that the Lord would increase in me the Mercies of God as I worship the Lord with every part of my body.
If you are interested in Piper's sermon (it was really great!) here is the link.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
WorldView 102
My most favorite thing about having to take Davis downtown every week to get allergy shots (desensitizing his bee allergy) is that I have 2 solid hours of just him and me time. It will not always be just the two of us, but while it is still new and unknown I wanted to be able to focus on him. On the care ride there we asked dozens of questions about how allergies work, what desensitization is, and why it works. It was a fairly intelligent conversation. When it seemed like the questions about allergies were coming to a close I broached another intellectual topic that I have wanted to cover for some time now.
Thus far, he is completely unaware that the public school system can be hostile to the Christian worldview. I have been hesitant to bring it up with my black-and-white thinker because the truth is that there are very good teachers that I trust and am thankful for that disagree with our views. It does not seem appropriate to drive an unnecessary wedge between my child and their school. On the other hand, he made a comment the other day that startled me. He said, "Jackson, school is the safest place you can be." On the one hand I am thankful he feels so safe. He should feel safe. On the other hand, I think that it reflects a belief that what is taught in school is equivalent in authority as what we teach at home or in church.
Thus far, we have not come up against many things that directly oppose our faith. Thank goodness, since we are only in the second grade here. But I know it is coming and that it will come faster than I realize. I desire my kids to be strong, independent thinkers and so I began telling him about how he has a "detective role" to play while he is in school.
Your teacher is a believer but the people who tell her what she is supposed to teach might not be believers. Did you know that? So whenever you are in school, you should always be asking yourself, "Does this thing that I am learning right now AGREE or GO AGAINST what the Bible says?" And then, if you figure out that it is against what the bible says, you have to decide which one you are going to believe.
We talked about some examples of things he is learning that fall on both sides, asking him what the bible says about each issue I brought up. He asked some good questions. My favorite question came when we were talking about taking care of the earth. We have always taught the kids that it is very important that we take good care of the earth because starting way back in Genesis, God gave the earth over for mankind to care for, so we need to take that responsibility seriously. I made a comment in this present discussion to the effect that some people who feel very strongly about taking care of the earth have rejected God. He said, "But that doesn't make sense! Why would they care about the God's creation if they don't care about God?"
"I know. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense when you put it that way. But it is sort of like they have chosen to worship the earth instead of God, the creator of the earth. The earth can be an idol and..."
"I know why. They have been deceived," he responded.
I am hoping that this conversation builds a foundation for him that allows him to think critically about what he is learning in school. The bigger challenge will be balancing the critical thinking with lessons on how to respectfully, kindly, appropriately respond to things that go against what he knows about God and His Word. I am invigorated by the challenge and excited to see how the Lord develops this aspect of my kid's intellect!
Thus far, he is completely unaware that the public school system can be hostile to the Christian worldview. I have been hesitant to bring it up with my black-and-white thinker because the truth is that there are very good teachers that I trust and am thankful for that disagree with our views. It does not seem appropriate to drive an unnecessary wedge between my child and their school. On the other hand, he made a comment the other day that startled me. He said, "Jackson, school is the safest place you can be." On the one hand I am thankful he feels so safe. He should feel safe. On the other hand, I think that it reflects a belief that what is taught in school is equivalent in authority as what we teach at home or in church.
Thus far, we have not come up against many things that directly oppose our faith. Thank goodness, since we are only in the second grade here. But I know it is coming and that it will come faster than I realize. I desire my kids to be strong, independent thinkers and so I began telling him about how he has a "detective role" to play while he is in school.
Your teacher is a believer but the people who tell her what she is supposed to teach might not be believers. Did you know that? So whenever you are in school, you should always be asking yourself, "Does this thing that I am learning right now AGREE or GO AGAINST what the Bible says?" And then, if you figure out that it is against what the bible says, you have to decide which one you are going to believe.
We talked about some examples of things he is learning that fall on both sides, asking him what the bible says about each issue I brought up. He asked some good questions. My favorite question came when we were talking about taking care of the earth. We have always taught the kids that it is very important that we take good care of the earth because starting way back in Genesis, God gave the earth over for mankind to care for, so we need to take that responsibility seriously. I made a comment in this present discussion to the effect that some people who feel very strongly about taking care of the earth have rejected God. He said, "But that doesn't make sense! Why would they care about the God's creation if they don't care about God?"
"I know. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense when you put it that way. But it is sort of like they have chosen to worship the earth instead of God, the creator of the earth. The earth can be an idol and..."
"I know why. They have been deceived," he responded.
I am hoping that this conversation builds a foundation for him that allows him to think critically about what he is learning in school. The bigger challenge will be balancing the critical thinking with lessons on how to respectfully, kindly, appropriately respond to things that go against what he knows about God and His Word. I am invigorated by the challenge and excited to see how the Lord develops this aspect of my kid's intellect!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Parenting Honesty
I recently chatted with another mom who has a child with similar characteristics to one of my children. Her words to me describing what she encounters each day sent me back into the world I lived in for three years. I remember those years being a challenge, but I had not thought of the specifics for quite a while. It was good to rehearse those so that I could see just how much progress we had made with this child.
Since that conversation I have been thinking a lot about the journey that I have been on with that child. There is a mound of history. I have so many unpleasant memories of times when he threw flaming, torrential fits. I remember the time I let him sleep in my bed one time and after that he got up multiple times every night for more than two months claiming to be scared and asking to sleep in my bed. I vowed never make that mistake again. I remember the times - the many, many times - he got so angry that he was not getting his way that he screamed angrily for more than an hour on his bed. So many memories and I just can't help but remember...
Really and truly, he is not a "bad kid" by any stretch, but lets just say that when ANY of my children are causing trouble, it is this child's name that is on the tip of my tongue. Its a force of habit, I tell you. It is unfortunate but true that the rocky history impacts nearly every interaction between the two of us. Often, either my dukes are up and ready for a fight, or I tip-toe away from potential conflict. Either way, I distance myself from him. I have forgiven but not forgotten his stubbornness, his angry fits, his manipulation.
The verses from Ephesians 6 make sense to me: "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise: that it may go well for you, and that you will enjoy a long life on the earth." (emphasis mine)
The reality of life is that when you make poor choices, when you are difficult to get along with, when you allow your passions to rule you, there are quiet consequences. A quiet consequence here appears to be the distance between us and my frequent assumption that he is at fault. Stay with me please because I have yet to articulate what is on my heart this evening.
I go back to the recent conversation I had with this mother, and how it convicted me. In that conversation I encouraged this mom to attempt to really understand her difficult child. "Crouch down and try to see the world from his perspective," I said. "Sometimes what looks like disobedience is actually frustration due to the child's inability to fully communicate. Sometimes he is not mad that he can't have what he wants but instead he is merely angry because he never did get you to understand what it really was that he wanted." To be understood is a deep and pressing need. To meet (or attempt to meet) that need is a great gift we can give our children (or our spouse!).
Now my child has moved past the intense preschool years and can communicate better, can cope with life more effectively, and has tools to play better in that sandbox. I am so thankful that those years are in the past. But my memory pulls us back there. Our interactions continue to be colored.
But God.
How long is His memory? What does He ask of me? As a mature Christian parent I believe he asks me to put on the fruits of the spirit, especially when I conjure up the memories. I believe he asks me to offer up compassion. I believe He asks me to confess the memories I refuse to release. He asks me to renew my mind. Think differently about this child. Speak differently about and to this child. God's mercies are new every morning. EVERY MORNING.
His divine power has given us everything. Everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him... (2 Peter 1:3).
Last night my little guy woke up scared. Was he? Who knows. My flesh wanted to march him back to bed and get back to bed myself. But the Lord spoke very clearly to me and so I listened. I willingly "forgot" the memories and smiled at my boy, "Hi sweetie. You are scared? Come here." And we hugged. I lost a little more than an hour's sleep last night, but I met my boy's need to be understood with compassion. There is no amount of sleep that could replace that.
Since that conversation I have been thinking a lot about the journey that I have been on with that child. There is a mound of history. I have so many unpleasant memories of times when he threw flaming, torrential fits. I remember the time I let him sleep in my bed one time and after that he got up multiple times every night for more than two months claiming to be scared and asking to sleep in my bed. I vowed never make that mistake again. I remember the times - the many, many times - he got so angry that he was not getting his way that he screamed angrily for more than an hour on his bed. So many memories and I just can't help but remember...
Really and truly, he is not a "bad kid" by any stretch, but lets just say that when ANY of my children are causing trouble, it is this child's name that is on the tip of my tongue. Its a force of habit, I tell you. It is unfortunate but true that the rocky history impacts nearly every interaction between the two of us. Often, either my dukes are up and ready for a fight, or I tip-toe away from potential conflict. Either way, I distance myself from him. I have forgiven but not forgotten his stubbornness, his angry fits, his manipulation.
The verses from Ephesians 6 make sense to me: "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise: that it may go well for you, and that you will enjoy a long life on the earth." (emphasis mine)
The reality of life is that when you make poor choices, when you are difficult to get along with, when you allow your passions to rule you, there are quiet consequences. A quiet consequence here appears to be the distance between us and my frequent assumption that he is at fault. Stay with me please because I have yet to articulate what is on my heart this evening.
I go back to the recent conversation I had with this mother, and how it convicted me. In that conversation I encouraged this mom to attempt to really understand her difficult child. "Crouch down and try to see the world from his perspective," I said. "Sometimes what looks like disobedience is actually frustration due to the child's inability to fully communicate. Sometimes he is not mad that he can't have what he wants but instead he is merely angry because he never did get you to understand what it really was that he wanted." To be understood is a deep and pressing need. To meet (or attempt to meet) that need is a great gift we can give our children (or our spouse!).
Now my child has moved past the intense preschool years and can communicate better, can cope with life more effectively, and has tools to play better in that sandbox. I am so thankful that those years are in the past. But my memory pulls us back there. Our interactions continue to be colored.
But God.
How long is His memory? What does He ask of me? As a mature Christian parent I believe he asks me to put on the fruits of the spirit, especially when I conjure up the memories. I believe he asks me to offer up compassion. I believe He asks me to confess the memories I refuse to release. He asks me to renew my mind. Think differently about this child. Speak differently about and to this child. God's mercies are new every morning. EVERY MORNING.
His divine power has given us everything. Everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him... (2 Peter 1:3).
Last night my little guy woke up scared. Was he? Who knows. My flesh wanted to march him back to bed and get back to bed myself. But the Lord spoke very clearly to me and so I listened. I willingly "forgot" the memories and smiled at my boy, "Hi sweetie. You are scared? Come here." And we hugged. I lost a little more than an hour's sleep last night, but I met my boy's need to be understood with compassion. There is no amount of sleep that could replace that.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
M&Ms and Sheep
I needed to borrow my Dad's Expedition for a couple of days while our van was in the repair shop. They are out of town so I took the liberty. I grabbed the keys from their kitchen counter and grabbed from a Costco-sized bag THE BIGGEST HANDFUL of M&Ms I could. Not being able to drive their unfamiliar big rig with only one hand, I looked for some place to set my copious number of candy-coated chocolates. Finding nothing ideal, I carefully placed them on the center consul and slowly, ever-so-slowly, drove off. Though my pile was large, I really did not want to lose even one. Then I took my first turn and two started sliding. Risking life and limb (its a curvy driveway), I quickly placed my hand over the two rouge fellows in a protective move. Silly, I thought. I have so many. What's one or two less?
Then I took my second turn. And I lost one between the consul and my seat. Looking beside me, I could just see him peeking his little orange face up at me. I reached for him...but alas he disappeared into the crumbly, dusty place that is classic of a car's crevice. I mourned a moment (really, I did) and then I thought of the parable of the lost sheep. And I understood a little more about why the shepherd would leave his ninety-nine sheep in search of the lost one.
If I can mourn an M&M, how much more would He mourn an image-bearer?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
How Do YOU Do This?
It is one thing to pass our faith on to our children. It is yet another to pass our faith on to our grandchildren. That is not to say we parent two generations, but rather that we pass on our faith in such a strong, authentic, LIVING GOD way to our own children that they cannot help but pass that same faith onto their own kids.
This is on my mind today. If you were to give an answer to the question, "How does this look (or how do you imagine it could look) in your house?" what would you say? I'd really like to hear your thoughts.
Deuteronomy 6
1"Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it,
2so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.
3"O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.
4"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!
5"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
7"You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
8"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.
9"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
10"Then it shall come about when the LORD your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build,
11and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are satisfied,
12then watch yourself, that you do not forget the LORD who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
13"You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name.
14"You shall not follow other gods, any of the gods of the peoples who surround you,
15for the LORD your God in the midst of you is a jealous God; otherwise the anger of the LORD your God will be kindled against you, and He will wipe you off the face of the earth.
16"You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested Him at Massah.
17"You should diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and His testimonies and His statutes which He has commanded you.
18"You shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may be well with you and that you may go in and possess the good land which the LORD swore to give your fathers,
19by driving out all your enemies from before you, as the LORD has spoken.
20"When your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What do the testimonies and the statutes and the judgments mean which the LORD our God commanded you?'
21then you shall say to your son, 'We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us from Egypt with a mighty hand.
22'Moreover, the LORD showed great and distressing signs and wonders before our eyes against Egypt, Pharaoh and all his household;
23He brought us out from there in order to bring us in, to give us the land which He had sworn to our fathers.'
24"So the LORD commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God for our good always and for our survival, as it is today.
25"It will be righteousness for us if we are careful to observe all this commandment before the LORD our God, just as He commanded us.
This is on my mind today. If you were to give an answer to the question, "How does this look (or how do you imagine it could look) in your house?" what would you say? I'd really like to hear your thoughts.
Deuteronomy 6
1"Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it,
2so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.
3"O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.
4"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!
5"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
7"You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
8"You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.
9"You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
10"Then it shall come about when the LORD your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build,
11and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are satisfied,
12then watch yourself, that you do not forget the LORD who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
13"You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name.
14"You shall not follow other gods, any of the gods of the peoples who surround you,
15for the LORD your God in the midst of you is a jealous God; otherwise the anger of the LORD your God will be kindled against you, and He will wipe you off the face of the earth.
16"You shall not put the LORD your God to the test, as you tested Him at Massah.
17"You should diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and His testimonies and His statutes which He has commanded you.
18"You shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may be well with you and that you may go in and possess the good land which the LORD swore to give your fathers,
19by driving out all your enemies from before you, as the LORD has spoken.
20"When your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What do the testimonies and the statutes and the judgments mean which the LORD our God commanded you?'
21then you shall say to your son, 'We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us from Egypt with a mighty hand.
22'Moreover, the LORD showed great and distressing signs and wonders before our eyes against Egypt, Pharaoh and all his household;
23He brought us out from there in order to bring us in, to give us the land which He had sworn to our fathers.'
24"So the LORD commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God for our good always and for our survival, as it is today.
25"It will be righteousness for us if we are careful to observe all this commandment before the LORD our God, just as He commanded us.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Going On Ahead
I fall into a strong temptation as I peruse the blogosphere. Perhaps the scenario is familiar to you as well: I love reading about how some of you out there are running your lives. The details of how you home school, the descriptions of your family life, the . You follow a blog or six long enough and you really get a picture for the vision each family has. One blog that I love to follow is my friend Kristy, who home schools her girls. She and her husband are living their lives on a farm of their own making and have a strong passion for raising their kids to love and serve the Lord. Another blog I enjoy is Joy's. She and her husband are missionaries in Indonesia. You catch very quickly their vision for how they want to raise their kids and the specific values they are passig down. And then there are the random links I follow to other blogs on occasion, where I take a quick glimpse into the lives of people I have never - and likely will never - meet.
You might think that the temptation I am about to talk about is "spending too much time in the blog world." While that is something I must monitor closely, the temptation I am speaking of is much more sinister.
As a result of my own thinking, planning and praying (with the extremely helpful input from my blog community) I have a solid, Biblical idea of how to best raise up my four boys so that they will love and be effective for the Lord in all they do. I am so thankful for all the wonderful (really, truly WONDERFUL) ideas out there that have helped me form a vision for the kind of boys I want to raise - and how to do it.
"Ah," You say, "Why Jenne, I had no idea you were a single mom." Single Mom? What gave you that idea? Oh, I see that I HAVE given you that idea because that is how I am pursuing our family vision: as though I am the one to set it and pursue it.
In all my reading, planning and praying, I mistakenly consult the blogopshere rather than my husband! And as I march on ahead with what I believe to be "clearly the best vision" under which to raise these boys, I have marched right on ahead of my husband. Up until last week, Ryan and I had never even discussed this together - I had never asked him what his vision for our family is! I must have thought that a.) he could read my mind or b.) he couldn't possibly have a vision or c.) he wouldn't be interested in what the vision is (afterall, its my job to raise the kids anyway). Maybe it is a strong combination of all three options. Oh what a fool I have been!
You might not be surprised that the discussion came up as we were reviewing how baseball season went. We all had a lot of fun, but I was sharing my thoughts about how sports were not really going to serve to accomplish the goals "we" have toward raising these boys for the Lord. And my dear husband was quick to gently correct me. As he described HIS vision for our boys, I realized my foolishness. Please note that the point is not about who is right or wrong, or whose vision is better. I would have liked to argue with him that my vision is more godly than his. I would have liked to make clear to him how I have thoughtfully, carefully considered all that there is to consider. (And OOOOhhhh am I good at making myself heard in this arena!) But the Lord closed my lips and spoke to me loud and clear: I must begin pursuing Ryan's vision for our family. The nuances of that vision can be up for discussion later, but before I have any ground to stand on in such a discussion, I need to come under my husband's leadership. No more going on ahead of my husband - not even in the name of "godliness" because there is nothing godly about ignoring or failing to consult the head of the family.
I suppose you will find it ironic that all these thoughts were made clearer to me through a blogger who wrote this post by, yes, someone I have never and will never meet. Go figure.
You might think that the temptation I am about to talk about is "spending too much time in the blog world." While that is something I must monitor closely, the temptation I am speaking of is much more sinister.
As a result of my own thinking, planning and praying (with the extremely helpful input from my blog community) I have a solid, Biblical idea of how to best raise up my four boys so that they will love and be effective for the Lord in all they do. I am so thankful for all the wonderful (really, truly WONDERFUL) ideas out there that have helped me form a vision for the kind of boys I want to raise - and how to do it.
"Ah," You say, "Why Jenne, I had no idea you were a single mom." Single Mom? What gave you that idea? Oh, I see that I HAVE given you that idea because that is how I am pursuing our family vision: as though I am the one to set it and pursue it.
In all my reading, planning and praying, I mistakenly consult the blogopshere rather than my husband! And as I march on ahead with what I believe to be "clearly the best vision" under which to raise these boys, I have marched right on ahead of my husband. Up until last week, Ryan and I had never even discussed this together - I had never asked him what his vision for our family is! I must have thought that a.) he could read my mind or b.) he couldn't possibly have a vision or c.) he wouldn't be interested in what the vision is (afterall, its my job to raise the kids anyway). Maybe it is a strong combination of all three options. Oh what a fool I have been!
You might not be surprised that the discussion came up as we were reviewing how baseball season went. We all had a lot of fun, but I was sharing my thoughts about how sports were not really going to serve to accomplish the goals "we" have toward raising these boys for the Lord. And my dear husband was quick to gently correct me. As he described HIS vision for our boys, I realized my foolishness. Please note that the point is not about who is right or wrong, or whose vision is better. I would have liked to argue with him that my vision is more godly than his. I would have liked to make clear to him how I have thoughtfully, carefully considered all that there is to consider. (And OOOOhhhh am I good at making myself heard in this arena!) But the Lord closed my lips and spoke to me loud and clear: I must begin pursuing Ryan's vision for our family. The nuances of that vision can be up for discussion later, but before I have any ground to stand on in such a discussion, I need to come under my husband's leadership. No more going on ahead of my husband - not even in the name of "godliness" because there is nothing godly about ignoring or failing to consult the head of the family.
I suppose you will find it ironic that all these thoughts were made clearer to me through a blogger who wrote this post by, yes, someone I have never and will never meet. Go figure.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Mighty Powerful
Photographs cannot capture the height, depth and breadth of nature. The most beautiful sunset in all the world put on photopaper is just another sunset. Breathtaking snow-peaked mountains are made small. The photographs we took of the waterfalls we saw last week are the same: they are NOTHING compared to standing next to the real thing, hearing the noise and sensing the power of the furiously pounding water. It was truly something to behold.As I was standing there with my oldest nearby I said, "It's so powerful! Whenever I see things like this it reminds me of how powerful God is. You know?"
"Uh huh," was his uninterested response.
"How crazy would it be to be inside that waterfall-or underneath it! I mean, it could hurt you really bad because it is so powerful."
"Yeah!" he said with excitement (stuff like that fuels my boys). "It could probably KILL YOU!"
I echoed his enthusiasm with a resounding,"Oh TOTALLY!" And then, "This waterfall may be powerful but its NOTHING compared to the power of God. God made it and to Him it is just a drop. It does not even come close to God's power!"
"Well I better not mess around with God, then."
"Seriously! You got that right. That's what the Bible means when it says we should fear the Lord. Its not that we should be afraid like He's a monster or something its that we need to realize just how big and powerful and
mighty God is..."I wanted to continue with the theology lesson but determined in my heart that we would need to return to another waterfall in a future spring. There is so much more to consider! There is so much more to understand, like how God has the great power to crush but in that great power He has great control and patience. OH! If my boys (or I!!) could grasp just a sliver of what this waterfall represents it could revolutionize everything we did and thought.
You just don't want to mess around with the Almighty.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Dry Run
Summer is fast approaching. With one in school and the others still preschoolers, I am hardly well-versed at "how to do summer vacation well."
I have a few goals for my soon-to-be second-grader, and my nearly-kindergartner LOVES academic worksheets, math flashcards and reading lessons (how woulda thunk THAT one?) so I want to start the summer running with a new morning routine that mimicks what I imagine homeschool would look like in our house, should we ever go that route.
Wake up
Breakfast
Get dressed & ready for the day
(so far, this is nothing new)
Chores
Homework
Play-play-play!
On Memorial Day we did a "Dry Run," where I gave the kids a taste of what the summer mornings would be like. It was abbreviated and a bit rocky, but the expectations are now set for the older two and I am (nearly) ready with the new, "enhanced" (read: longer!) chore lists.
There is still a little bit of time before school ends, so if this idea gets you all excited, make a plan for this saturday. Or, if you don't have school-aged kids yet, YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!
I highly recommend the Expectation-setting Dry Run a week or so before you make the change. Happy thinking!
I have a few goals for my soon-to-be second-grader, and my nearly-kindergartner LOVES academic worksheets, math flashcards and reading lessons (how woulda thunk THAT one?) so I want to start the summer running with a new morning routine that mimicks what I imagine homeschool would look like in our house, should we ever go that route.
Wake up
Breakfast
Get dressed & ready for the day
(so far, this is nothing new)
Chores
Homework
Play-play-play!
On Memorial Day we did a "Dry Run," where I gave the kids a taste of what the summer mornings would be like. It was abbreviated and a bit rocky, but the expectations are now set for the older two and I am (nearly) ready with the new, "enhanced" (read: longer!) chore lists.
There is still a little bit of time before school ends, so if this idea gets you all excited, make a plan for this saturday. Or, if you don't have school-aged kids yet, YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!
I highly recommend the Expectation-setting Dry Run a week or so before you make the change. Happy thinking!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
That's NOT FAIR!
I have a certain middle child that has been coming to me (with increasing frequency) with this arms crossed, bottom lip protruding and eyes angry saying, "How come I didn't get a ____" or "Why did (brother) get one and I didn't?!" Its enough to drive this mother up the wall. Said child is obsessed with fairness as of late. Before evaluating whether or not the amount of pretzels in front of him is satisfactory for his hunger level, his eyes are on his brothers' pretzel piles and no matter how many are in front of him, AUTOMATICALLY his pile is less than his brothers'. And then the protruding lip, angry eyes and crossed arms are back. With gritted teeth, I might say something like "finish what you have in front of you and if you are still hungry, there are plenty more." I'd be lying if I said I have never lost it in this scenario. It is all I can do to allow him to keep even ONE pretzel. Every ounce of me wants to show him who's boss. "You think you have less? Alright, I'LL SHOW YOU LESS," swiftly grabbing up and dumping the food for which he was so ungrateful.
I have a thing about fairness issues: I am of the opinion that if someone is claiming that something is not fair, no matter how you try to prove how it actually is fair, that person will not be convinced. You may have 100 reasons for each person got what they got; you can count every raisin in front of each sibling; you can set a timer so each turn is ex.act.ly even, but if a child (or adult!) is of the mind that things are not fair, you will not win. There is always a reason why it is STILL not fair. So I have a policy of NOT being fair. Okay, okay, I did make sure each kid (who is old enough to care) had the same number of presents under the tree. And I am guilty of keeping Spiderman paraphernalia equally distributed among the sizes. And I do try to generally make things fair whenever possible. But what I don't do is get into arguments or discussions of fairness. If a child is claiming unfairness, I usually try and focus that child on what they can be thankful for.
HOWEVER, this method is not clicking and the current unfairness bombardment is more than this mamma can take. That is, until today when I had a wonderful ah-ha moment: Oh my. He doesn't trust me. He doesn't trust me. Here's what lead to that epiphany:
He came stomping up the stairs having seen his brother eating a banana: "How come DAVIS gets a banana and NOT ME?!?!?" he said, complete with his standard lip-eyes-arms stance.
(Deep breath, momma. Don't blow...) "Sweetie, when you say things like that," (I imitate him to-a-tee, at this point) you are only causing yourself trouble. When you say things like that (I imitate his words and stance again) does mommy ever give you what you want?"
Angrier eyes coming my way. More deep breathing by Mommy. Lord, help me keep the tone kind and gentle.
"The reason Davis got a banana is because he asked for one. Maybe if YOU asked for one in a kind manner, I might give one to you also. What do you think?"
Shoulder shrug. "Can I please have a banana?"
My face lit up and I handed him a banana. "Little guy, I love to give you the things you want and need. All you need to do is ask, OK?"
When he walked away, I could tell that something new had clicked for him. For that I am thankful. Even more, I am thankful that something clicked for me. He is assuming (right or wrong) that I am going to slight him every chance I get. Here is my opportunity to really build up trust between the two of us. Rather than be frustrated by his angry assumptions, I can and will be patient with him, rehearsing with him all the ways I love to care for his needs (and how he must make proper requests). When he trusts me to care for him like I care for his brothers, I suspect that he will stop focusing on fairness, resting in the knowledge that no matter what others get, meeting his unique needs is paramount to his mommy.
I have a thing about fairness issues: I am of the opinion that if someone is claiming that something is not fair, no matter how you try to prove how it actually is fair, that person will not be convinced. You may have 100 reasons for each person got what they got; you can count every raisin in front of each sibling; you can set a timer so each turn is ex.act.ly even, but if a child (or adult!) is of the mind that things are not fair, you will not win. There is always a reason why it is STILL not fair. So I have a policy of NOT being fair. Okay, okay, I did make sure each kid (who is old enough to care) had the same number of presents under the tree. And I am guilty of keeping Spiderman paraphernalia equally distributed among the sizes. And I do try to generally make things fair whenever possible. But what I don't do is get into arguments or discussions of fairness. If a child is claiming unfairness, I usually try and focus that child on what they can be thankful for.
HOWEVER, this method is not clicking and the current unfairness bombardment is more than this mamma can take. That is, until today when I had a wonderful ah-ha moment: Oh my. He doesn't trust me. He doesn't trust me. Here's what lead to that epiphany:
He came stomping up the stairs having seen his brother eating a banana: "How come DAVIS gets a banana and NOT ME?!?!?" he said, complete with his standard lip-eyes-arms stance.
(Deep breath, momma. Don't blow...) "Sweetie, when you say things like that," (I imitate him to-a-tee, at this point) you are only causing yourself trouble. When you say things like that (I imitate his words and stance again) does mommy ever give you what you want?"
Angrier eyes coming my way. More deep breathing by Mommy. Lord, help me keep the tone kind and gentle.
"The reason Davis got a banana is because he asked for one. Maybe if YOU asked for one in a kind manner, I might give one to you also. What do you think?"
Shoulder shrug. "Can I please have a banana?"
My face lit up and I handed him a banana. "Little guy, I love to give you the things you want and need. All you need to do is ask, OK?"
When he walked away, I could tell that something new had clicked for him. For that I am thankful. Even more, I am thankful that something clicked for me. He is assuming (right or wrong) that I am going to slight him every chance I get. Here is my opportunity to really build up trust between the two of us. Rather than be frustrated by his angry assumptions, I can and will be patient with him, rehearsing with him all the ways I love to care for his needs (and how he must make proper requests). When he trusts me to care for him like I care for his brothers, I suspect that he will stop focusing on fairness, resting in the knowledge that no matter what others get, meeting his unique needs is paramount to his mommy.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Read-read-read-read-read to your kids!!
You just HAVE TO jump over to Randy's blog today. You will find an encouraging shove to read to each of your children.
Now is the time!
This is the day!!
For a great list of books (not just from me but from a bunch of people who commented) click here and then if you are local go here to reserve one or two at the library!
Now is the time!
This is the day!!
For a great list of books (not just from me but from a bunch of people who commented) click here and then if you are local go here to reserve one or two at the library!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Ouch!
I shared with you earlier that I have been reading a great book on marriage. I am reading it REALLY s.l.o.w.l.y. Wanna know what is hitting me most?
Here is what I read today:
" 'Allison's' deepest heart's desire is for her husband to make her feel a certain way. Her desires are not necessarily bad. The problem, however, is when they become more important to her than a pure devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. Whenever a wife sets her heart on her husband behaving a certain way, she will likely end up disappointed, frustrated, and hurt. A primary clue to recognize that a heart's desire has become an idol (something more important to her than delighting in and serving God), is that the wife is willing to sin in order to attain that desire. Instead of setting her heart on her husband, Allison's deepest desires should be the same as those of the Psalmist in Psalm 119. He desired, sought after, and longed after God with all his heart." (The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p65)
Possible Idolatrous/Lustful Desires
1. That my husband will be affectionate.
2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
3. That he will give me compliments.
4. That he will make me feel special.
5. That he will not hurt my feelings.
6. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feeings.
7. That he will put me first.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p68-69)
So, I won't say outloud which number is the one I struggle with most, but just know that my struggle is listed above!
Right Desires
1. That I may know God's Word and obey it.
2. That I may delight in Him.
3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p69)
Martha lists six things that we wives can do to set our minds on things above. Come back later this week and I will have them for you!
Here is what I read today:
" 'Allison's' deepest heart's desire is for her husband to make her feel a certain way. Her desires are not necessarily bad. The problem, however, is when they become more important to her than a pure devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. Whenever a wife sets her heart on her husband behaving a certain way, she will likely end up disappointed, frustrated, and hurt. A primary clue to recognize that a heart's desire has become an idol (something more important to her than delighting in and serving God), is that the wife is willing to sin in order to attain that desire. Instead of setting her heart on her husband, Allison's deepest desires should be the same as those of the Psalmist in Psalm 119. He desired, sought after, and longed after God with all his heart." (The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p65)
Possible Idolatrous/Lustful Desires
1. That my husband will be affectionate.
2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
3. That he will give me compliments.
4. That he will make me feel special.
5. That he will not hurt my feelings.
6. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feeings.
7. That he will put me first.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p68-69)
So, I won't say outloud which number is the one I struggle with most, but just know that my struggle is listed above!
Right Desires
1. That I may know God's Word and obey it.
2. That I may delight in Him.
3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p69)
Martha lists six things that we wives can do to set our minds on things above. Come back later this week and I will have them for you!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My Main Ministry: Ryan
I have been convicted lately to look carefully at how I am doing in terms of my marriage. I spend a TON of time thinking about how I can be a better mom but not nearly enough energy considering where I might improve my ministry to my husband.
I have a book on my bookshelf, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, that I read about 5 years ago. And I have known for a while that it is time to pick it up again and do a personal "check up." It is so interesting what stuck out at me five years ago verses what is sticking out this time. My initial read-through of this book gave me permission to follow and submit to Ryan, even when I thought I had a better (read: right) way to do things. I honestly thought that if I had a better idea than him, that it would be wrong to follow his lead... that I was supposed to "follow" my spiritual leader, so long as he was spiritually leading well. After reading the book 5 years ago, I learned that I needed to follow and submit to his leadership regardless of his ability to lead, and regardless of whether or not I had a better idea. This revolutionized my concept of submission in a really good way. I saw that it was not my responsibility to make sure we were doing the best thing. What freedom I found in letting that go!
In my current read-through of this great book, one sentence has really impacted me more than any other (so far):
God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband.
This is something I have known for a long time but it is sinking deep into my fibers this time. Am I running my hours, days, weeks, and months as though this is what I believe? What am I doing that communicates this truth? If I am doing something intentional to minister to Ryan, is it something Ryan actually values, or is it something I merely THINK he values?
I am convicted to answer these questions. I want Ryan to believe that he has no bigger advocate on earth than his wife; No more enthusiastic cheerleader than the woman he married.
Have you given this any thought? I know that for a long time I felt like I could not be the kind of godly wife I was supposed to be "because he...". I played a blame game, believing that my role was stifled when he did not fulfill his role. Martha's book reminds me that there is only one thing that keeps me from being a godly wife: my own sin. One sin I see I have committed over and over again is the presumption that God will help me even when I am neglecting His truth. Why would God answer my cry for help when I am using my tongue to cut Ryan down, or allowing my mind to dream what it would be like "if only..."
Martha's answer to this problem: Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse. Her loving, merciful, and holy God has truly provided everything she needs to become a godly wife - to become the excellent wife that God wants her to be. And even when she falls short, she can be forgiven. 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness' (1 John 1:9).
I want my life and my relationship with my husband to glorify You, Jesus!
I have a book on my bookshelf, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, that I read about 5 years ago. And I have known for a while that it is time to pick it up again and do a personal "check up." It is so interesting what stuck out at me five years ago verses what is sticking out this time. My initial read-through of this book gave me permission to follow and submit to Ryan, even when I thought I had a better (read: right) way to do things. I honestly thought that if I had a better idea than him, that it would be wrong to follow his lead... that I was supposed to "follow" my spiritual leader, so long as he was spiritually leading well. After reading the book 5 years ago, I learned that I needed to follow and submit to his leadership regardless of his ability to lead, and regardless of whether or not I had a better idea. This revolutionized my concept of submission in a really good way. I saw that it was not my responsibility to make sure we were doing the best thing. What freedom I found in letting that go!
In my current read-through of this great book, one sentence has really impacted me more than any other (so far):
God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband.
This is something I have known for a long time but it is sinking deep into my fibers this time. Am I running my hours, days, weeks, and months as though this is what I believe? What am I doing that communicates this truth? If I am doing something intentional to minister to Ryan, is it something Ryan actually values, or is it something I merely THINK he values?
I am convicted to answer these questions. I want Ryan to believe that he has no bigger advocate on earth than his wife; No more enthusiastic cheerleader than the woman he married.
Have you given this any thought? I know that for a long time I felt like I could not be the kind of godly wife I was supposed to be "because he...". I played a blame game, believing that my role was stifled when he did not fulfill his role. Martha's book reminds me that there is only one thing that keeps me from being a godly wife: my own sin. One sin I see I have committed over and over again is the presumption that God will help me even when I am neglecting His truth. Why would God answer my cry for help when I am using my tongue to cut Ryan down, or allowing my mind to dream what it would be like "if only..."
Martha's answer to this problem: Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse. Her loving, merciful, and holy God has truly provided everything she needs to become a godly wife - to become the excellent wife that God wants her to be. And even when she falls short, she can be forgiven. 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness' (1 John 1:9).
I want my life and my relationship with my husband to glorify You, Jesus!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Embracing Baseball
I mentioned already that we are playing baseball for the first time this year. And we are in deep, as we have two boys old enough to swing a bat for a team. Someday in the future we will probably limit the number of kids that can play a sport at one time because you run yourself ragged getting to all the practices and games. And with our baseball league there are also mandatory volunteer opportunities (did I just say mandatory volunteer? Indeed.). And then there is fundraising and a tournament at the end of the season and the cost to play and the cost to outfit and gear-up both kids. And don't forget the help that the coaches really need to organize the volunteers, the fundraiser, and other things like that.
What am I getting at? This baseball thing is a significant committment in a variety of realms. As a parent that is completely GREEN when it comes to having kids in baseball, I was pretty stressed out when I discovered that Davis' team would be practicing three times a week. I was glad to know that Jackson's team is only practicing once a week. But he has games twice a week most weeks, and Davis has games sometimes as much as three times in a week. Plus practices. Yeah.
Resentment was building right from the start. I am pretty full already, you know? I mean, I have my safe little life and my wonderful routines. I have spaces in my day to be intentional with each of my kids. But I only have these spaces because I have organized my days and weeks in such a way... I don't exactly have five nights a week to devote to something as insignificant as baseball.
Today I saw in another mom's tone of voice and facial expressions what I had been feeling. Her complaints were pretty legit, if you ask me. She thought she signed up her child to play some ball but she didn't know she was signing up for a change in lifestyle for the next 10 weeks. She did not know that such a thing as mandatory volunteering existed. She did not know that there would be games three times a week and practices on top of that. I totally got it that she was disillusioned and deeply regretted letting her kid play ball.
The thing is, we did sign our kids up. And this is what is asked of all the parents. And regardless of whether or not we should have registered our boys for baseball, these are the circumstances we find ourselves in right now. Suddenly I saw so clearly that she and I both have choices to make.
1. Drop out of the league. Yeah, the $100 spent to play is lost, but at least you have your life back. Who wants to pay for misery?
2. Continue in the league, but make sure everyone knows just how ticked off you are about what a huge committment this has turned out to be. And write dozens of letters in your head to the Little League Board of Directors.
3. Embrace the circumstances. Better yet, use them to glorify the Lord.
I am thankful I saw myself so clearly in another mom's ugly behavior because I was inches from echoing her ticked-off sentiments. I realize now that my witness is at stake. And with that knowledge, my entire perspective has changed. I am finding myself excited for the next couple of months. I see that our lives are going to look very different for a while, and that means sacrificing some things that I don't want to sacrifice (but is that not the definition of sacrifice?!). But it is temporary. We can get back to our perfect lives soon enough. But for a while, it is going to get messy as we develop relationships with parents who don't know God's call on their lives. We are going to get our hands dirty as we permit our kids to work really hard all season long under someone else's authority. I have this mental image of our family really caring for the coaches (who are great, by the way) - serving them, praying for them, supporting them, assisting them, ministering to them.
In a blink of an eye, my mind has been renewed. Rather than fight against baseball all season long, I have embraced it. I see it as a ministry opportunity. I will use it in every way possible to glorify the Lord. I am so excited!
Play ball!
What am I getting at? This baseball thing is a significant committment in a variety of realms. As a parent that is completely GREEN when it comes to having kids in baseball, I was pretty stressed out when I discovered that Davis' team would be practicing three times a week. I was glad to know that Jackson's team is only practicing once a week. But he has games twice a week most weeks, and Davis has games sometimes as much as three times in a week. Plus practices. Yeah.
Resentment was building right from the start. I am pretty full already, you know? I mean, I have my safe little life and my wonderful routines. I have spaces in my day to be intentional with each of my kids. But I only have these spaces because I have organized my days and weeks in such a way... I don't exactly have five nights a week to devote to something as insignificant as baseball.
Today I saw in another mom's tone of voice and facial expressions what I had been feeling. Her complaints were pretty legit, if you ask me. She thought she signed up her child to play some ball but she didn't know she was signing up for a change in lifestyle for the next 10 weeks. She did not know that such a thing as mandatory volunteering existed. She did not know that there would be games three times a week and practices on top of that. I totally got it that she was disillusioned and deeply regretted letting her kid play ball.
The thing is, we did sign our kids up. And this is what is asked of all the parents. And regardless of whether or not we should have registered our boys for baseball, these are the circumstances we find ourselves in right now. Suddenly I saw so clearly that she and I both have choices to make.
1. Drop out of the league. Yeah, the $100 spent to play is lost, but at least you have your life back. Who wants to pay for misery?
2. Continue in the league, but make sure everyone knows just how ticked off you are about what a huge committment this has turned out to be. And write dozens of letters in your head to the Little League Board of Directors.
3. Embrace the circumstances. Better yet, use them to glorify the Lord.
I am thankful I saw myself so clearly in another mom's ugly behavior because I was inches from echoing her ticked-off sentiments. I realize now that my witness is at stake. And with that knowledge, my entire perspective has changed. I am finding myself excited for the next couple of months. I see that our lives are going to look very different for a while, and that means sacrificing some things that I don't want to sacrifice (but is that not the definition of sacrifice?!). But it is temporary. We can get back to our perfect lives soon enough. But for a while, it is going to get messy as we develop relationships with parents who don't know God's call on their lives. We are going to get our hands dirty as we permit our kids to work really hard all season long under someone else's authority. I have this mental image of our family really caring for the coaches (who are great, by the way) - serving them, praying for them, supporting them, assisting them, ministering to them.
In a blink of an eye, my mind has been renewed. Rather than fight against baseball all season long, I have embraced it. I see it as a ministry opportunity. I will use it in every way possible to glorify the Lord. I am so excited!
Play ball!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
That's Not What I Meant...
I was re-reading my post "My Little Leaguer" and I was startled by what I wrote in my last paragraph. Do you ever go back and re-read your posts and think, "Heavens! That's NOT what I meant!!" My heart did NOT come through at all on this one.
So, it sounded like I was saying that I was so incredibly consistent, and so wonderfully prayerful, and am such a hard worker when it came to raising my Jackson. But honestly, what was in my heart when I wrote that was every failure, every frustrating day, every day that I did not have a CLUE what to do. I was remembering all the times I WASN'T consistent. All the times I gave in. And I was remembering, in the midst of trying to train him up, how I carried two of my babies to term, and how much of a louse of a parent I was during those months, and how much TV the kids had to watch while I was sleeping on the couch in the middle of the day, and how tired and grouchy I was...
And then (and only then) was I remembering that through the Lord's help (and the help of my sister and Lindy and a stack of books) how I kept on getting back on that horse, and did not throw my hands up and just give up. But it was not me who was faithful in all these years. It was my Lord. He was my Guide, my Help, my Source. He gently brought me back time and time again to training Jackson properly. He. He. He. Never me.
So, in case my horrible attempt at encouragement left a sour taste in your mouth, I hope that this clarification serves as a little bit of Listerine. Now, hear these words again: if you have a Jackson in your quiver, do not - do not - do not give up. Run to your Lord OFTEN for wisdom and strength. Knock on the doors of other moms who have done it before. Keep at the discipline (in order to succeed you must be willing to fail sometimes, too). Because there is fruit - beautiful fruit - in this labor.
So, it sounded like I was saying that I was so incredibly consistent, and so wonderfully prayerful, and am such a hard worker when it came to raising my Jackson. But honestly, what was in my heart when I wrote that was every failure, every frustrating day, every day that I did not have a CLUE what to do. I was remembering all the times I WASN'T consistent. All the times I gave in. And I was remembering, in the midst of trying to train him up, how I carried two of my babies to term, and how much of a louse of a parent I was during those months, and how much TV the kids had to watch while I was sleeping on the couch in the middle of the day, and how tired and grouchy I was...
And then (and only then) was I remembering that through the Lord's help (and the help of my sister and Lindy and a stack of books) how I kept on getting back on that horse, and did not throw my hands up and just give up. But it was not me who was faithful in all these years. It was my Lord. He was my Guide, my Help, my Source. He gently brought me back time and time again to training Jackson properly. He. He. He. Never me.
So, in case my horrible attempt at encouragement left a sour taste in your mouth, I hope that this clarification serves as a little bit of Listerine. Now, hear these words again: if you have a Jackson in your quiver, do not - do not - do not give up. Run to your Lord OFTEN for wisdom and strength. Knock on the doors of other moms who have done it before. Keep at the discipline (in order to succeed you must be willing to fail sometimes, too). Because there is fruit - beautiful fruit - in this labor.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Planning for Easter at Our House
I grew up with nice memories of Easter egg hunts and always an impressive basket sitting on the fireplace in our living room. My sister and I would go through the baskets in the same way we would explore our Christmas stockings. The baskets had some candy in them, but Mom always had gifts in them as well. Jewelry, maybe a shirt, a CD perhaps, and other cool stuff that made Easter a holiday to really look forward to. I have taken those memories and added a couple of twists that keep the excitement of Easter alive, but moves the excitement of the gifts toward encouraging spiritual growth. As a result, Easter is probably my most favorite holiday of the whole year.
Here is what we do.
When the kids wake up there are baskets (buckets, actually) next to their door. They get to take their buckets and go on an egg hunt. The eggs have one or two jelly beans in each of them but the eggs the kids REALLY want to find are the ones with NO candy.
Its called "the empty tomb egg hunt." The real gift of Easter is the risen Jesus, right? That tomb was empty - which was the first sign of the ultimate gift: our risen savior! Candy is yummy and all, but when the kids find the empty eggs, they know they are very near the REAL gift: the family's easter basket
Rather than one basket for each member of the family, we do just one basket for the whole family. And each gift inside the basket is a means to the same end: spiritual growth. I save up a nice pile of cash and make some investments in great resources for the family. Last year, Davis received his first Bible cover (something he was SO excited about), Weston got his own set of not-yet-scratched-up CDs "The Word and Song Bible," Jackson got David and Goliath action figures. I bought myself and Ryan books that would encourage both of us in our quest to be godly parents.
I had so much fun online shopping this year. You wanna know what it is the basket?
The Children's Illustrated Bible
The Jim Elliot Story: The Torchlighters Series, DVD
Seeds Music CD (thanks for the recommendation, Ginger!)
I got myself an accessory so I can listen more easily to sermons on an MP3 player. I got something for my hubby, too, but I'll keep that quiet until Easter.
Here is what we do.
When the kids wake up there are baskets (buckets, actually) next to their door. They get to take their buckets and go on an egg hunt. The eggs have one or two jelly beans in each of them but the eggs the kids REALLY want to find are the ones with NO candy.
Its called "the empty tomb egg hunt." The real gift of Easter is the risen Jesus, right? That tomb was empty - which was the first sign of the ultimate gift: our risen savior! Candy is yummy and all, but when the kids find the empty eggs, they know they are very near the REAL gift: the family's easter basket
Rather than one basket for each member of the family, we do just one basket for the whole family. And each gift inside the basket is a means to the same end: spiritual growth. I save up a nice pile of cash and make some investments in great resources for the family. Last year, Davis received his first Bible cover (something he was SO excited about), Weston got his own set of not-yet-scratched-up CDs "The Word and Song Bible," Jackson got David and Goliath action figures. I bought myself and Ryan books that would encourage both of us in our quest to be godly parents.I had so much fun online shopping this year. You wanna know what it is the basket?
The Children's Illustrated Bible
The Jim Elliot Story: The Torchlighters Series, DVD
Seeds Music CD (thanks for the recommendation, Ginger!)
I got myself an accessory so I can listen more easily to sermons on an MP3 player. I got something for my hubby, too, but I'll keep that quiet until Easter.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
My Little Leager
My heart absolutely swelled with pride Tuesday evening. Jackson participated in his first ever team sport practice. He is a coordinated kid, yes. And that's cool. But that's not what really made me well up with pride. What did it was his behavior. He paid attention. He was tough. He was patient. He listened. He followed instruction. He obeyed his coach.
I love this kid very deeply, and I am so thankful to be his mommy, but I have really been challenged in my parenting by this guy. Up until about four-and-a-half years of age, he has pushed in every way a toddler/preschooler can. He does not take "no" for an answer. His emotions are usually close to the surface, ready to bubble over (anger surfaced often). He has been easily distracted. These are traits that, if trained up properly, will bring him far in life because they seem to be signs that a person is persistent, thinks outside the box, and has great passion.
That is my Jackson. Persistent. Creative. Passionate. A Leader.
But all along the way, he continues to challenge me and make me wonder if I am doing ANYTHING right. Am I making ANY headway with this kid? Is he going to be a terror in the classroom next year?
But at that T-Ball practice I saw the fruit of all the prayer, consistency and hard work that had been poured into that little guy. So can I just say to you now that if you have a tough kid, don't give up. When you are in the middle of it, it feels like it is never going to end, but before you know it you will be at T-Ball practice amidst a pack of disruptive, spastic, kids and you will see the fruit. You will!!
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. (Heb 12:11-12)
editorial note: I was re-reading this post and I was startled by what I wrote in that last paragraph. Do you ever go back and re-read your posts and think, "Heavens! That's NOT what I meant!!" My heart did NOT come through at all on this one.
So, it sounded like I was saying that I was so incredibly consistent, and so wonderfully prayerful, and am such a hard worker when it came to raising my Jackson. But honestly, what was in my heart when I wrote that was every failure, every frustrating day, every day that I did not have a CLUE what to do. I was remembering all the times I WASN'T consistent. All the times I gave in. And I was remembering, in the midst of trying to train him up, how I carried two of my babies to term, and how much of a louse of a parent I was during those months, and how much TV the kids had to watch while I was sleeping on the couch in the middle of the day, and how tired and grouchy I was...
And then (and only then) was I remembering that through the Lord's help (and the help of my sister and Lindy and a stack of books) how I kept on getting back on that horse, and did not throw my hands up and just give up. But it was not me who was faithful in all these years. It was my Lord. He was my Guide, my Help, my Source. He gently brought me back time and time again to training Jackson properly. He. He. He. Never me.
So, in case my horrible attempt at encouragement left a sour taste in your mouth, I hope that this clarification serves as a little bit of Listerine. Now, here these words again: if you have a Jackson in your quiver, do not - do not - do not give up. Run to your Lord OFTEN for wisdom and strength. Knock on the doors of other moms who have done it before. Keep at the discipline (in order to succeed you must be willing to fail sometimes, too). Because there is fruit - beautiful fruit - in this labor.
I love this kid very deeply, and I am so thankful to be his mommy, but I have really been challenged in my parenting by this guy. Up until about four-and-a-half years of age, he has pushed in every way a toddler/preschooler can. He does not take "no" for an answer. His emotions are usually close to the surface, ready to bubble over (anger surfaced often). He has been easily distracted. These are traits that, if trained up properly, will bring him far in life because they seem to be signs that a person is persistent, thinks outside the box, and has great passion.
That is my Jackson. Persistent. Creative. Passionate. A Leader.
But all along the way, he continues to challenge me and make me wonder if I am doing ANYTHING right. Am I making ANY headway with this kid? Is he going to be a terror in the classroom next year?
But at that T-Ball practice I saw the fruit of all the prayer, consistency and hard work that had been poured into that little guy. So can I just say to you now that if you have a tough kid, don't give up. When you are in the middle of it, it feels like it is never going to end, but before you know it you will be at T-Ball practice amidst a pack of disruptive, spastic, kids and you will see the fruit. You will!!
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. (Heb 12:11-12)
editorial note: I was re-reading this post and I was startled by what I wrote in that last paragraph. Do you ever go back and re-read your posts and think, "Heavens! That's NOT what I meant!!" My heart did NOT come through at all on this one.
So, it sounded like I was saying that I was so incredibly consistent, and so wonderfully prayerful, and am such a hard worker when it came to raising my Jackson. But honestly, what was in my heart when I wrote that was every failure, every frustrating day, every day that I did not have a CLUE what to do. I was remembering all the times I WASN'T consistent. All the times I gave in. And I was remembering, in the midst of trying to train him up, how I carried two of my babies to term, and how much of a louse of a parent I was during those months, and how much TV the kids had to watch while I was sleeping on the couch in the middle of the day, and how tired and grouchy I was...
And then (and only then) was I remembering that through the Lord's help (and the help of my sister and Lindy and a stack of books) how I kept on getting back on that horse, and did not throw my hands up and just give up. But it was not me who was faithful in all these years. It was my Lord. He was my Guide, my Help, my Source. He gently brought me back time and time again to training Jackson properly. He. He. He. Never me.
So, in case my horrible attempt at encouragement left a sour taste in your mouth, I hope that this clarification serves as a little bit of Listerine. Now, here these words again: if you have a Jackson in your quiver, do not - do not - do not give up. Run to your Lord OFTEN for wisdom and strength. Knock on the doors of other moms who have done it before. Keep at the discipline (in order to succeed you must be willing to fail sometimes, too). Because there is fruit - beautiful fruit - in this labor.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The Truth Comes Out
I am having another one of those moments when I feel the weight of having four boys (funny - I accidentally typed "three" instead of "four" and had to backspace). Anywho, this "moment" has lasted about, oh I don't know, 11 days.
The first moment like this was when I was folding laundry for all six of us, all mixed together in one load. I was going crossed-eyed trying to figure out all the proper piles of jammies, pants, socks, and shirts. Remember that post?
This eleven-day moment is really a reprise of yesterday's post. And Monday's, too. Second verse - SAME AS THE FIRST! I am frustrated that I can't fit everything in to the day. I have so many things I want to be intentional about with my kids, yet the actual care and feeding of them and Ryan keeps on getting in the way (darn it!). How ironic: I could raise these kids a lot better if I didn't have any kids to raise. Ha!
I want to disciple my kids in the Lord, teach my kids how to be diligent hard workers, to know their Bible, to be good students, to treat their brothers well, to be generous givers, to memorize scripture, to love to read, to keep their room clean, to be helpful, to follow through to completion with a task, to ride a bigger bike, to obey the first time, to speak respectfully...
In a way I feel like I did when I was a first-time mom. You remember (or you are living it now) when you could hardly fold one basket of laundry throughout the course of an entire day; and it was all you could do to get dinner on the table - but you can forget about eating that dinner while it was hot... aw, who am I kidding?! I would have settled for just eating it warm! Nothing like cold mashed potatoes squishing around in your mouth.
Anyway, I am totally living in that place right now, where I am hoping that the laundry gets folded before a week goes by and we are actually digging through the baskets for clean undies. This week, four baskets sat clean but cold and wrinkly for two days before they got any of my attention.
And all day long the kids ask for my attention. They each have a mantra all their own:
Davis: Can we read another chapter out of ______ book?
Jackson: How about if we play a game together. Connect Four, or Rat-a-Tat-Cat. You choose. Or walking soccer, since you don't run. (Someday again, right pelvic floor?!?)
Weston: Pee-pees, Mommy! Pee-PEES!! Read? EAT!
Drake: Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP! Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP!Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP! Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP!...
And I love it. I want to read, play games, work puzzles, be silly, wrestle and cuddle at least once every day. But, honest-engine, there is not always time in the day for each of those things. In order for everyone to be taken care of - just yer basic feeding and care - takes nearly every moment I have. Now granted, I have a part-time job working for my husband that takes me away 15 hours a week. (Did I mention I love working with him?) But the bottom line here is life is full!
But my mother-in-law called me this morning. She is a loyal reader of my blog and read yesterday's post and said something encouraging that really blessed me. She has a great perspective on this because she loves living a life full of serving others and I believe it grieves her that she cannot be there 100% of the time for each and every dear friend and family member in her life (though she does everything she can to give everything she has... she has an incredible servant's heart). She reminded me that its okay to not get it all done. The yearning can leave you with a sweet taste in your mouth for a day to come when you can do more - that's called hope. In the mean time, be patient. This season is intense but short.
So, I am working through all this right now. I know I want to do everything I can to raise my kids well, but I must remember that I can't do it all right now. Not with an infant, anyway. But a day will come when I can give more attention, spend more time, be less scattered for the whole family. And I can live in that hope while still enjoying today.
The first moment like this was when I was folding laundry for all six of us, all mixed together in one load. I was going crossed-eyed trying to figure out all the proper piles of jammies, pants, socks, and shirts. Remember that post?
This eleven-day moment is really a reprise of yesterday's post. And Monday's, too. Second verse - SAME AS THE FIRST! I am frustrated that I can't fit everything in to the day. I have so many things I want to be intentional about with my kids, yet the actual care and feeding of them and Ryan keeps on getting in the way (darn it!). How ironic: I could raise these kids a lot better if I didn't have any kids to raise. Ha!
I want to disciple my kids in the Lord, teach my kids how to be diligent hard workers, to know their Bible, to be good students, to treat their brothers well, to be generous givers, to memorize scripture, to love to read, to keep their room clean, to be helpful, to follow through to completion with a task, to ride a bigger bike, to obey the first time, to speak respectfully...
In a way I feel like I did when I was a first-time mom. You remember (or you are living it now) when you could hardly fold one basket of laundry throughout the course of an entire day; and it was all you could do to get dinner on the table - but you can forget about eating that dinner while it was hot... aw, who am I kidding?! I would have settled for just eating it warm! Nothing like cold mashed potatoes squishing around in your mouth.
Anyway, I am totally living in that place right now, where I am hoping that the laundry gets folded before a week goes by and we are actually digging through the baskets for clean undies. This week, four baskets sat clean but cold and wrinkly for two days before they got any of my attention.
And all day long the kids ask for my attention. They each have a mantra all their own:
Davis: Can we read another chapter out of ______ book?
Jackson: How about if we play a game together. Connect Four, or Rat-a-Tat-Cat. You choose. Or walking soccer, since you don't run. (Someday again, right pelvic floor?!?)
Weston: Pee-pees, Mommy! Pee-PEES!! Read? EAT!
Drake: Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP! Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP!Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP! Feed me, change me, put me to bed. BURP!...
And I love it. I want to read, play games, work puzzles, be silly, wrestle and cuddle at least once every day. But, honest-engine, there is not always time in the day for each of those things. In order for everyone to be taken care of - just yer basic feeding and care - takes nearly every moment I have. Now granted, I have a part-time job working for my husband that takes me away 15 hours a week. (Did I mention I love working with him?) But the bottom line here is life is full!
But my mother-in-law called me this morning. She is a loyal reader of my blog and read yesterday's post and said something encouraging that really blessed me. She has a great perspective on this because she loves living a life full of serving others and I believe it grieves her that she cannot be there 100% of the time for each and every dear friend and family member in her life (though she does everything she can to give everything she has... she has an incredible servant's heart). She reminded me that its okay to not get it all done. The yearning can leave you with a sweet taste in your mouth for a day to come when you can do more - that's called hope. In the mean time, be patient. This season is intense but short.
So, I am working through all this right now. I know I want to do everything I can to raise my kids well, but I must remember that I can't do it all right now. Not with an infant, anyway. But a day will come when I can give more attention, spend more time, be less scattered for the whole family. And I can live in that hope while still enjoying today.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Confessions of a Public School Mom
We have chosen to put our kids in public school. Not because we don't want to home school. Not because we don't want to afford private school. We chose public school because we want our kids to be exposed to kids who are believers and kids who are not believers. We want them to ask us hard questions about why Johnny has two moms, why we didn't vote for Obama like "all" the other parents, and just how did we go from monkey to man?
Do I really want to answer these questions? No-sir-ee. I would rather duck and cover a hundred times before I deal with any of these horribly un-kid-friendly issues. But I want to begin with the tinier issues now (in elementary school) so that we are slowly, carefully building a strong faith and Christian worldview in our boys.
Can this be done homeschooling? Certainly. I am watching it happen with many of my friends kids. Will we ever move away from public school? Oh, who knows! We are hardly dogmatic about it. We have made the choice of PS for now. And when it does not work any longer, or for a time, or whatever, we will re-evaluate and choose the best for each boy.
Last Friday I took my boys to the farm where we are going to purchase organic produce this season. We saw the horse and the chickens. The big boys got to milk a mama goat. We explored the seed room, the greenhouse and the fields. Rocks were thrown in water. Boots splashed in puddles. Mud got under fingernails. Hands smelled like horses. It was wonderful. Along the way, we learned things together and I asked questions that got the kids thinking about something different and new. That family who runs that farm home schools their kids. They have five wonderful kids that are going to grow up learning together and working hard on the farm. It is not idyllic, but it is marvelous. It is not perfect, but it is blessed.
If I had to lay it all out, honest and true, I would have to admit that I wish I home schooled my boys. I get to thinking about what I could do (and what I could not do) if I made that switch. But the Lord has not called us to that place. He has us here, doing public school. He has brought me to this place of tension where I must lean on Him for wisdom and grace. And I am thankful for this place, and determined to be content with where He has us. And even more determined to do my (our!) best to glorify God here and now.
Do I really want to answer these questions? No-sir-ee. I would rather duck and cover a hundred times before I deal with any of these horribly un-kid-friendly issues. But I want to begin with the tinier issues now (in elementary school) so that we are slowly, carefully building a strong faith and Christian worldview in our boys.
Can this be done homeschooling? Certainly. I am watching it happen with many of my friends kids. Will we ever move away from public school? Oh, who knows! We are hardly dogmatic about it. We have made the choice of PS for now. And when it does not work any longer, or for a time, or whatever, we will re-evaluate and choose the best for each boy.
Last Friday I took my boys to the farm where we are going to purchase organic produce this season. We saw the horse and the chickens. The big boys got to milk a mama goat. We explored the seed room, the greenhouse and the fields. Rocks were thrown in water. Boots splashed in puddles. Mud got under fingernails. Hands smelled like horses. It was wonderful. Along the way, we learned things together and I asked questions that got the kids thinking about something different and new. That family who runs that farm home schools their kids. They have five wonderful kids that are going to grow up learning together and working hard on the farm. It is not idyllic, but it is marvelous. It is not perfect, but it is blessed.
If I had to lay it all out, honest and true, I would have to admit that I wish I home schooled my boys. I get to thinking about what I could do (and what I could not do) if I made that switch. But the Lord has not called us to that place. He has us here, doing public school. He has brought me to this place of tension where I must lean on Him for wisdom and grace. And I am thankful for this place, and determined to be content with where He has us. And even more determined to do my (our!) best to glorify God here and now.
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