Old Habit, Revisited

A year ago, I wrote the following post.

"This year I am resolved to establish a daily time for my kids to read the Bible. My oldest is almost old enough to actually sit and READ his Bible, my middle is old enough to sit still with a Bible in his hands to flip through, and my youngest is old enough to disrupt the whole affair. Oh, and did I mention me? I am WAY TOO OLD to still be needing to "establish" something. What a pity, but true. With the addition of every child, the re-establishment must occur for me. The advice I have received from "Older-Wisers" has always been to do it before the kids get up. That has been a constant source of defeat for me. I hope I come up with something ELSE to encourage young moms to do. (I imagine you know my morning defeat: the earlier I get up, the earlier my kids arise. Why deprive myself of sleep and still not get a few moments with the Lord?)

Reminder: we are running a marathon, not a sprint. So my first step in the big picture of getting my kids to have a habit of reading their Bible and praying each day (essentially having a childhood "quiet time") is subtle, small, and might seem too miniscule. I am making sure that each day we read one small story in the Bible lasting 28 seconds, or upwards of 5 minutes.

My theory is that if you it every day, you have your kids eventually expecting it. Do it for a short enough time each of those days (leaving them wanting more rather than wishing it were over) and you will create a hunger for more. Then tomorrow's time is a little more enthusiastic (but not longer). And slowly s-l-o-w-l-y you lengthen the time you spend. And they grow up and begin to read for themselves. And..., And..., And...over time you have established a wonderful spiritual discipline. A little sneaky, don't you think?I have a few challenges in this: my kids are really different. I have one who would sit and listen to books for hours on end, and another who might like a simple story but in the end would prefer to wrestle with the book. And I already mentioned my baby (who, by the way is not on a consistent nap schedule where I can count on him being asleep at the same time every day while we read together). Another major challenge: big busy me. Enough said.

But so far (as of the middle of January 2008) we have been successful. Lord, give me perseverance in this!

Any more resolutions out there? Any encouragement? Any other ideas floating around?"

Funny, a year later I am back exactly in the same place I was then (needing to re-establish Bible quiet times), only busier. I have added another child to our mix and my oldest is now in school a full day (no more 1/2 day kindergarten). Our time together is precious - PRECIOUS - and it is very full. When Davis comes home from school we have snack, do homework, they sit and listen to me read a chapter book, and then it is time for me to begin dinner prep and feed the baby, and then its dinner time and clean up time and then Daddy comes home and then its bedtime. Somewhere in there the kids need to play and run off energy, too! The whole day seems to be gone before it starts. So I am discovering that I have this tiny window of time in which to "fit" quiet times during the school year. (How frustrating!)

But it is what it is. If you have kids NOT in school, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE TIME YOU HAVE! Last year our Bible Quiet times lasted 45 minutes. (Oh it was wonderful!) This year, I am hoping to get in 15 minutes. But 15 minutes with the Lord in prayer daily is nothing to be ashamed of!

A Quiet Time Update

In our household our kids are really heavy on Bible knowledge. They can answer lots of factual questions about Biblical history. And my 7-year-old is actually very adept at making theological leaps and asking very thought-provoking questions. But we are lacking heart knowledge. And honestly, especially for kids, that seems a natural progression. It helps to know something about the God you believe in before you foster an authentic and deep relationship with him. But what a tragedy it would be to neglect the relationship.

"Why would we wait to train up our children in this essential discipline? Do we think younger children don't yet need time alone with God?" (Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper - John Piper's wife). Thank you, Joy for quoting her recently. I can't wait to read her book in its entirety.

I blogged last week about my desire to get my kids into the habit of having a quiet time with the Lord each day. And in that post, you will remember, I admitted that I was blogging about it BEFORE I saw success. So, are you interested in how it is going? I set out each kid's supplies (a Bible, notebook, pencil, and a note I wrote to each of them) at the spot they sit at breakfast. When they came to breakfast that morning, it was waiting for them. While breakfast was cooking I walked them through the idea of a quiet time with the Lord.

Here is what the notes said...

For My Seven-Year-Old:
During a quiet time you:
Pray to God
Read the Bible, and
Write something you read or prayed about.

Under each of these three items I gave them some suggestions of what to pray about, and what to write. I have a quasi-reader right now, which is tough because it is overwhelming to him to read even a verse of the Bible on his own, but picture bibles are getting too "baby-ish" for him. So I did not focus on that part just yet and did not give him suggestions of what to read in his Bible (yet!).

For My Five-Year-Old
I took a piece of paper and...
I drew pictures of a Bible, a notebook, and a pencil.
I also drew a picture of a kid with his eyes closed, with "thought bubbles" about what that kid might be praying about ("Thank you for my mom and dad," "Please help me to be kind and obedient today," "I love you, God").

In my presentation of these ideas I tried not to set up legalistic rules to follow but rather a set of guidelines to help direct their thoughts. But I did ask that they start their quiet time praying, rather than drawing or writing or reading. It seemed to me that it would be too easy to get off track if they did not start out doing the main thing! Both kids keep the piece of paper with them when they have their QT. The 5yo said, "sometimes I don't know what to do, so I like to keep it with me, just in case."

In my explanation I was intentional about smiling and using a lot of expression in my voice so they could catch a sense of wonder and awe about how special it is to spend time with God (I don't know if I succeeded in this effort, but I tried).

The first day, QT lasted about 7 minutes. I wanted them to see that this is a short and sweet time. Afterwards I asked them what they prayed about and what they drew. Honestly, they did not have much to say. I don't think they knew what to do during their time, even though we had gone over it. Rather than get frustrated, I reminded myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. I am prepared to walk a long journey with my kids as they develop a relationship with the Lord. I want to be a source of encouragement to them as they develop habits and eventually form a heart-connection with the Maker of the Universe. So I anticipate that we will have many great conversations over the weeks, months and years ahead about what all of us prayed about, read, and drew during our time with the Lord.

Next time I post something about this, I will hopefully be able to answer the question of "when." Currently, I am switching the time here and there because I am not sure when to best fit this into the day.

I have been encouraged by others who have recently been inspired to start this up for their kids, too. How are QTs with your kids going?

The Quiet Time Plan

I am going to go out on a limb this time and write out my plan for how we are going to implement quiet times into our day (now that I have school-aged kids) BEFORE it is actually working. Usually, I wait to blog about things until we are having success because that way, what I have to say sounds, well, successful.

This time, however, I am going to let you in on the plan from the get-go. Perhaps witnessing the bumps along the way will encourage you to be willing to be go down the bumpy road, too.

Today I am making my plan and gathering supplies.
Tommorrow I will give the kids a practice-run-through in the middle of the day.
The following day we will try it out.

My inspiration, Joy's post here. My experience with childhood quiet times, none, except the time we did it about a year ago, right before I got pregnant (and the whole wonderful routine went out the door with my morning sickness and fatigue). Now is the time!

What has worked in your house for your kids? Or, what are you thinking about trying!?

I Only Need A Moment

My life right now boils down to a steady stream of moments (wonderful, joyful moments). I move from one child to another, meeting their needs. One child needs a hug, another needs an apple slice. One needs to report his bowel movement to me (so he thinks), and another needs to be rocked. The phone rings. The water is boiling. The husband has a question. I move from one moment to the next all day long until my head hits the pillow. And then I sleep for what honestly feels like a moment. Life is wonderfully full, and mighty busy.

Guess what gets lost in that busy shuffle? My time with the Lord. Every time I am pregnant I fall out of any and every good habit I may have previously established. And every time we add a child to our family, I have to essentially re-learn how to fit quiet times into my life. So, here we are again.

The thought of waking up even earlier (while night-time feedings still exist) is bone-shattering. Finding a chunk of time during the day is a struggle, and the baby is fussy in the evening and requires being held (I gladly cuddle my little monkey who seems to sense immediately when I pick up a book to read). I mention all these things not to complain - far from it... I love my existance - but rather to prove to you that my days are full. Can you relate?!

It occurred to me not too many days ago that 1) I need to lower my expectations for what qualifies as a quiet time, and 2) I need to think differently about my time. So rather than searching all day long for a fifteen-minute window of quiet (does such a thing exist?), I search for a "moment."

It's like this: the two big boys are playing quietly together, the 2yo is sitting on his bed recovering from a fit, and the baby is asleep for the time being. suddenly I realize Hey, I have a moment! Mind you, my sticky counters are stacked with dishes and I still did not get to the mailbox. Previously, I would have seen this "moment" to get either of these two things done. But knowing the moment is fleeting, I stop it all and move toward the couch. The mail can wait. The counters will get sticky again anyway.

A moment is just that - fleeting. Here and gone. So that's my expectation. I don't hope for long sessions of quiet, lest I dash my spirits, become frustrated and give up. Instead, I consider it a great success if I grab that moment with my Bible in my lap, even if I only read a sentence. Because, hey! That means I found my Bible. I sat. I breathed.

And then the moment is gone... success is declared.