My life right now boils down to a steady stream of moments (wonderful, joyful moments). I move from one child to another, meeting their needs. One child needs a hug, another needs an apple slice. One needs to report his bowel movement to me (so he thinks), and another needs to be rocked. The phone rings. The water is boiling. The husband has a question. I move from one moment to the next all day long until my head hits the pillow. And then I sleep for what honestly feels like a moment. Life is wonderfully full, and mighty busy.
Guess what gets lost in that busy shuffle? My time with the Lord. Every time I am pregnant I fall out of any and every good habit I may have previously established. And every time we add a child to our family, I have to essentially re-learn how to fit quiet times into my life. So, here we are again.
The thought of waking up even earlier (while night-time feedings still exist) is bone-shattering. Finding a chunk of time during the day is a struggle, and the baby is fussy in the evening and requires being held (I gladly cuddle my little monkey who seems to sense immediately when I pick up a book to read). I mention all these things not to complain - far from it... I love my existance - but rather to prove to you that my days are full. Can you relate?!
It occurred to me not too many days ago that 1) I need to lower my expectations for what qualifies as a quiet time, and 2) I need to think differently about my time. So rather than searching all day long for a fifteen-minute window of quiet (does such a thing exist?), I search for a "moment."
It's like this: the two big boys are playing quietly together, the 2yo is sitting on his bed recovering from a fit, and the baby is asleep for the time being. suddenly I realize Hey, I have a moment! Mind you, my sticky counters are stacked with dishes and I still did not get to the mailbox. Previously, I would have seen this "moment" to get either of these two things done. But knowing the moment is fleeting, I stop it all and move toward the couch. The mail can wait. The counters will get sticky again anyway.
A moment is just that - fleeting. Here and gone. So that's my expectation. I don't hope for long sessions of quiet, lest I dash my spirits, become frustrated and give up. Instead, I consider it a great success if I grab that moment with my Bible in my lap, even if I only read a sentence. Because, hey! That means I found my Bible. I sat. I breathed.
And then the moment is gone... success is declared.
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8 comments:
AMEN sista! Don't set those standards so high, and don't let the enemy put the guilt trip on you for not having an hour long "quiet time". Remember Susana Wesley's apron over her head? Moment by moment... like breathing.
This was a wonderful post. I often feel so overwhelmed with my busy days and life in general, that I forget to have time with God. I do manage though to have quiet time with him while I'm in the shower. It's the only place that I can be alone. LOL! It works, no bible reading but I can pray.
I get so frustrated, reading about how you find your 'moment' is refreshing.:)
I only have one but I find myself thinking the same thing. Sigh...I'm glad God knows my heart and I'll cherish the moments I get. Thanks for the encouragement.
oh friend...you have spoken to my heart on this one. i am right there with you...and thankful i am not the only one who feels this way! so here is to finding moments in our day and making the most of them!
Don't fret, Erin. I have felt that way since BEFORE I had kids. There is no such thing as "having ONLY one." One, four, or fourteen, its a busy life!
Awesome perspective and encouragement Jenne. I feel like there are moments in the season of parenting when it seems like time is a little bit more free (I just realized freeer isn't really a word, is it?). Like when Ruby was taking 2 naps per day, I could put a video on for the kids when she went down for her morning nap & have a bit of quiet time then. But how short a season that was!!! Now she takes 1, and I'm lucky to have time to homeschool the boys without her wanting to color too (and eat the crayons) or grab the scissors, or distract from every little thing we're doing....So even though I'm past the newborn stage, I feel like I'm right back there again with chaos & her being more needy than she was when she was sleeping more. :) So thank you...I needed this perspective. :)
Sometimes my moments don't even involve sitting down. I really like the Bible on CD. I need to listen to more sermons online while I do dishes or fold laundry!
Oh this is so my life! Thanks for the reminder to take advantage of those little moments no matter how short they may be!
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