Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Going On Ahead

I fall into a strong temptation as I peruse the blogosphere. Perhaps the scenario is familiar to you as well: I love reading about how some of you out there are running your lives. The details of how you home school, the descriptions of your family life, the . You follow a blog or six long enough and you really get a picture for the vision each family has. One blog that I love to follow is my friend Kristy, who home schools her girls. She and her husband are living their lives on a farm of their own making and have a strong passion for raising their kids to love and serve the Lord. Another blog I enjoy is Joy's. She and her husband are missionaries in Indonesia. You catch very quickly their vision for how they want to raise their kids and the specific values they are passig down. And then there are the random links I follow to other blogs on occasion, where I take a quick glimpse into the lives of people I have never - and likely will never - meet.

You might think that the temptation I am about to talk about is "spending too much time in the blog world." While that is something I must monitor closely, the temptation I am speaking of is much more sinister.

As a result of my own thinking, planning and praying (with the extremely helpful input from my blog community) I have a solid, Biblical idea of how to best raise up my four boys so that they will love and be effective for the Lord in all they do. I am so thankful for all the wonderful (really, truly WONDERFUL) ideas out there that have helped me form a vision for the kind of boys I want to raise - and how to do it.

"Ah," You say, "Why Jenne, I had no idea you were a single mom." Single Mom? What gave you that idea? Oh, I see that I HAVE given you that idea because that is how I am pursuing our family vision: as though I am the one to set it and pursue it.

In all my reading, planning and praying, I mistakenly consult the blogopshere rather than my husband! And as I march on ahead with what I believe to be "clearly the best vision" under which to raise these boys, I have marched right on ahead of my husband. Up until last week, Ryan and I had never even discussed this together - I had never asked him what his vision for our family is! I must have thought that a.) he could read my mind or b.) he couldn't possibly have a vision or c.) he wouldn't be interested in what the vision is (afterall, its my job to raise the kids anyway). Maybe it is a strong combination of all three options. Oh what a fool I have been!

You might not be surprised that the discussion came up as we were reviewing how baseball season went. We all had a lot of fun, but I was sharing my thoughts about how sports were not really going to serve to accomplish the goals "we" have toward raising these boys for the Lord. And my dear husband was quick to gently correct me. As he described HIS vision for our boys, I realized my foolishness. Please note that the point is not about who is right or wrong, or whose vision is better. I would have liked to argue with him that my vision is more godly than his. I would have liked to make clear to him how I have thoughtfully, carefully considered all that there is to consider. (And OOOOhhhh am I good at making myself heard in this arena!) But the Lord closed my lips and spoke to me loud and clear: I must begin pursuing Ryan's vision for our family. The nuances of that vision can be up for discussion later, but before I have any ground to stand on in such a discussion, I need to come under my husband's leadership. No more going on ahead of my husband - not even in the name of "godliness" because there is nothing godly about ignoring or failing to consult the head of the family.

I suppose you will find it ironic that all these thoughts were made clearer to me through a blogger who wrote this post by, yes, someone I have never and will never meet. Go figure.


Ginger@chirgies said...

Thanks Jenne for sharing... I look forward to heaven when we can meet these blogging friends and also where we will perhaps, be able to see the ripple effects that we've had on complete strangers' lives.

Submission is a beautiful thing - but oh, how I can struggle with my pride. Thanks for being vulnerable.

You should check out Stephen Covey's Family Mission Statement chapter in his book, "7 Habits of the Highly Effective Family."

Jenne said...

You ought to know, Ginger, that you have (and continue to) influence me in wonderful, amazing ways. I so cherish your tender spirit and wisdom. I am so thankful we are friends.