Monday, May 12, 2008

Teaching Only Obedience

Installment One to whet your appetite for the Book "Raising Godly Tomatoes."

"...when (your children) are still small (teach only) one thing: that they must always obey (you)with a willing and pleasant spirit. When we start with just that one thing, we don't have to do much else. What could be more simple? Once your child understands obedience, everything else is pretty much taken care of." (RGT, p.19)

Where do I start? What do I train for first?
"It doesn't matter what you train for first. You are training your child to obey you agreeably, as he should. You are not training him to come, or to hand over a toy, or to sit still on your lap, or to do or not do any other individual task. You are training for obedience, and if you train for obedience, you won't have to train for anything else." (RGT, p.21)

And what about tantrums?
"...Any conflict over anything can, and likely will, turn into a tantrum if you suddenly begin insisting your untrained child obey you. That's GREAT! That's WONDERFUL! ...Look forward to the tantrums and other major displays of stubbornness and willfulness as opportunities to win a while war. If you win a few tantrum wars (and you must), the little skirmishes will just disappear, and so will the tantrums." (RGT, p.21)

So, how loud can I yell?
"No Yelling Allowed. When you correct your child, do not raise your voice. We've all heard parents who call, "Bobby? Bob... BOB... ROBERT! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" When you do it that way, all you are doing is training your child not to obey you until you raise your voice...Wouldn't you like to be able to just use your regular voice? To just ask politely one time and get a positive, willing reply? Then train your child with that in mind... Call and instruct him in your regular voice. Do not call him twice if you know he heard you the first time. Get up and correct him if he doesn't respond promptly and correctly to your first call." (RGT, p.23)

And then she covers the importance of consistency... she defines it as "every time your child requires correction ,you get up and do it, remaining there to supervise and outlast until the message gets across." (RGT, p.24)

She was not always this kind of parent, so she takes you through the process she went through to get her kids to where they are now. This is just a portion of one chapter that I found wonderful. It just keeps getting better, and more helpful.

If you like what you read here, you better buy this book for yourself!

1 comment:

jon and erin said...

Thanks Jenne. We're STILL working on staying out of the dog's food/water and now NOT throwing food off the table or items AT people.