Here are a few things that Ryan and I together found to be valuable to our marriage.
3. Play together! Invest in activities that you both enjoy; be willing to give activities he enjoys a fair shake (like golfing!). My man really values ACTIVITIES. I really value QUALITY TIME. So we put the two love languages together and focus on having fun!
4. When he does something that appears insensitive, assume the best about him. A couple of months ago we had this come up, where I was desperate for help inside the house and he knew it but he still did not come in and help. I was so angry and so hurt! I usually try to avoid assuming that "he is just being selfish!" but this time, well, it was the only thought in my mind. I was mad, Mad, MAD! And I let him know. It ended up exploding into a pretty heated argument (something we don't have too may of). The real shame is that it was yet another example when I should have assumed the best about him. My emotions got the better of me (shocker!). When I understood why he did what he did I felt foolish having made such a big deal about it. I was again reminded that Ryan deserves the benefit of the doubt. He does not purposefully leave me to flap helplessly in the wind. He has so many more pressures on him than I am aware of - extending him grace in these moments is the least I can do.
5. Keep up with him s*xually. Don't just agree to it, match his enthusiasm. Be willing to try new things. Buy a cute something-something. Initiate. Talk about it. Buy a book to help you talk about it. Be the woman of his dreams! If this is a source of tension in your marriage, ask the Lord to change your heart toward your husband. I prayed that prayer and the Lord answered by not giving me rest on nights I denied Ryan. Like literally I toss and turn all night long. Can you believe the Lord would do that!?! Finally, let me say that this tip came from me, not from Ryan. And this tip was actually the first one on my list. It is THAT important!
6. Smile when he gets home. Don't unload all the day's junk on him when he walks through the door. Just greet him with a huge dose of dignity and respect.
7. Surround yourself with people who support marriage in general, and who support your marriage in particular.