Installment two in this series on making a stronger marriage...
Ask your husband how he would like the kids to be raised.
What values does he want his kids to have deep inside them? Where does he want the family's top 2 or 3 "Big Rocks" to be? (being smart? working hard? faith in God? Grace of God? Good stewardship of time and money? Getting along with others? Sibling harmony? Missions awareness? Athleticism? Being beautiful on the inside? the list goes on and on...)
When I asked Ryan this, I really did not expect him to have an answer immediately. I figured he would need some time to think about it but as it turns out, he HAD already thought about it - I had just never asked. He was glad to be able to share his thoughts and honestly it was helpful to me to have a conversation about where I should (and should not) be focusing my efforts with the kids. There are so many wonderful things to focus on - and in the world of blogging and even in the church community there is a great deal of pressure to "keep up" with the star moms out there. But you are raising your kids with your husband, not with some amazing mom you look up to.
Then, when you ask him have a healthy conversation where the goal is for you to understand HIM on this. So long as his priorities do not cause you or the kids to sin, do your best to represent your husband during the day by making his priorities your priorities.
Friday, January 21, 2011
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