Can I pull my thoughts together long enough to make sense of what is spinning around in my head? I'd say the chances are 50-50. You be the judge (but please be kind...).
One overarching priciple that drives my parenting is this: What my kids learn in their growing-up years about respecting and responding to my and Ryan's authority will inform how they, as adults, respect and respond to the Ultimate Authority of the Lord. I want my little boys to grow up to be men who have hearts tender for the Lord - eager to please their Lord, ready to do hard things when asked.
Ryan and I agree on a lot of things. We agree foundationally on faith, politics, money, and on many parenting-related topics. But there are a handful of things that we don't see eye-to-eye on. None of these things are foundational Biblical truths but rather secondary and tertiary issues. For example, the methods we use to teach our kids how to respond to the Lord's authority. We both agree that our kids need a healthy and accurate view of God - we both desire that they place themselves under the Lord. But how we get there - we don't always agree.
My Ultimate Authority is the Lord, but the Lord has put me under my husband. The way I respond to and respect Ryan's authority over me is a direct reflection to my kids of how they should handle authority. It is also a direct answer to whether or not I submit to the God's authority. When I married Ryan, God placed Ryan over me. And every day after that, I must choose to come under him.
(I bet you just heard my audible sigh.)
I love Ryan. He is a wonderful man. And even being married to a wonderful man, this task is a difficult one. So often I have my own ideas. I have my own experiences to base my ideas off of. I have my own desires. And sometimes we just plain disagree on the best way to arrive at our destination.
Sometimes the way we differ is how we prioritize the various character qualitites we are building in our kids. What I think is priority numero uno falls much farther down on Ryan's list. How challenging it is to release my own priorities in favor of Ryan's. It is painful to even type that. I want to push my agenda and disregard Ryan's. But ultimately when I do that I have set myself outside of God's protection. I might have a great idea that God would otherwise smile at but if I am pursuing that without the blessing of the man He has given me I am wrong.
It is more important to remain where God has placed me - under the headship of my husband who will take responsibility for me at the judgment seat of Christ. When my flesh wants to go its own way, I can rest peacefully in that blessed assurance.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine. Oh what a fortress of glory divine!