Ouch!

I shared with you earlier that I have been reading a great book on marriage. I am reading it REALLY s.l.o.w.l.y. Wanna know what is hitting me most?

Here is what I read today:

" 'Allison's' deepest heart's desire is for her husband to make her feel a certain way. Her desires are not necessarily bad. The problem, however, is when they become more important to her than a pure devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. Whenever a wife sets her heart on her husband behaving a certain way, she will likely end up disappointed, frustrated, and hurt. A primary clue to recognize that a heart's desire has become an idol (something more important to her than delighting in and serving God), is that the wife is willing to sin in order to attain that desire. Instead of setting her heart on her husband, Allison's deepest desires should be the same as those of the Psalmist in Psalm 119. He desired, sought after, and longed after God with all his heart." (The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p65)


Possible Idolatrous/Lustful Desires
1. That my husband will be affectionate.
2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
3. That he will give me compliments.
4. That he will make me feel special.
5. That he will not hurt my feelings.
6. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feeings.
7. That he will put me first.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p68-69)

So, I won't say outloud which number is the one I struggle with most, but just know that my struggle is listed above!

Right Desires
1. That I may know God's Word and obey it.
2. That I may delight in Him.
3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p69)

Martha lists six things that we wives can do to set our minds on things above. Come back later this week and I will have them for you!

Here's Your Coffee, Mommy!

Last week, my oldest son woke up early and, yup, made me a cup of coffee.

The next day, boy #2 was on the counter, looking for the coffee beans to grind. And for no other reason than they know how much I love my morning coffee. What a blessing these boys are to me.

My Main Ministry: Ryan

I have been convicted lately to look carefully at how I am doing in terms of my marriage. I spend a TON of time thinking about how I can be a better mom but not nearly enough energy considering where I might improve my ministry to my husband.

I have a book on my bookshelf, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, that I read about 5 years ago. And I have known for a while that it is time to pick it up again and do a personal "check up." It is so interesting what stuck out at me five years ago verses what is sticking out this time. My initial read-through of this book gave me permission to follow and submit to Ryan, even when I thought I had a better (read: right) way to do things. I honestly thought that if I had a better idea than him, that it would be wrong to follow his lead... that I was supposed to "follow" my spiritual leader, so long as he was spiritually leading well. After reading the book 5 years ago, I learned that I needed to follow and submit to his leadership regardless of his ability to lead, and regardless of whether or not I had a better idea. This revolutionized my concept of submission in a really good way. I saw that it was not my responsibility to make sure we were doing the best thing. What freedom I found in letting that go!

In my current read-through of this great book, one sentence has really impacted me more than any other (so far):
God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband.
This is something I have known for a long time but it is sinking deep into my fibers this time. Am I running my hours, days, weeks, and months as though this is what I believe? What am I doing that communicates this truth? If I am doing something intentional to minister to Ryan, is it something Ryan actually values, or is it something I merely THINK he values?

I am convicted to answer these questions. I want Ryan to believe that he has no bigger advocate on earth than his wife; No more enthusiastic cheerleader than the woman he married.

Have you given this any thought? I know that for a long time I felt like I could not be the kind of godly wife I was supposed to be "because he...". I played a blame game, believing that my role was stifled when he did not fulfill his role. Martha's book reminds me that there is only one thing that keeps me from being a godly wife: my own sin. One sin I see I have committed over and over again is the presumption that God will help me even when I am neglecting His truth. Why would God answer my cry for help when I am using my tongue to cut Ryan down, or allowing my mind to dream what it would be like "if only..."

Martha's answer to this problem: Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse. Her loving, merciful, and holy God has truly provided everything she needs to become a godly wife - to become the excellent wife that God wants her to be. And even when she falls short, she can be forgiven. 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness' (1 John 1:9).

I want my life and my relationship with my husband to glorify You, Jesus!

How Are We Doing

Thank you so, so much for everyone who praised the Lord right along side us after our scary bathtub incident. Many people have asked how we are doing so I thought I would answer that question here as well.

As frightening as it was to have it happen, Jackson does not seem to realize just how serious the incident was. I asked him if he thought about it much and he said no, not at all. I, on the other hand, have relived it many times. Though my tears have dried up, I get a nervous pit in my stomach still when I find myself with a quiet moment. Mostly, though, we have all just moved on as normal.

I have alerted the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Please pass our experience on to as many people as possible.

Thanks to everyone for your care and concern for our family, and for your prayers!

We Almost Lost Him Today

We have one of those bath toy holders that is a net with two suction cups to stick it to the side of the tub. Today I cut the suction cups off of it and if you have one, I hope you follow suit.

You see, this morning, while taking his bath, Jackson took that net (which was not attached to the tub wall), held it by the two suction cups and put it around the back of his neck - so it laid on his back like a cape. He then dunked his head underwater to see how long he could hold his breath for, and suctioned those cups to the bottom of the tub. When he tried to come up for air, he was stuck underwater. He pulled against the suction with his neck so hard that he has a rope burn on his neck. By God's Tender Mercy, he was able to get a breath and call for help. I came running, only to find him back under water.

He was already starting to inhale water into his lungs. I quickly figured out the problem and released the suction.

He is a very independent bather. He is 5, after all. All day today I have run through the what if's: What if I had been drying my hair in the other bathroom. What if I had gone downstairs for something and could not hear his call for help. What if...

I have cried many times today, thankful to have received such mercy, thankful for the Lord's rescue. This could have been "that day" that changed the rest of our family's life. Just moments away...

Thank you, Lord, for sparing my son. My sweet, wonderful Jackson Douglas

I Don't Want to Forget

Little Language-less Weston is finally bursting with words. He is copying tons of things we say, just to try and see if he can say it. You really don't know how much a kid is absorbing until he finally busts out with a sackful of words. Like, the other day when I was not sure where Jackson was... We were all outside and it was time to go, "Jackson!" I called. Weston, who playing outside as well, looked up at me, pointed to Jackson and said, "Ah Kip!" And indeed, he was chatting with our neighbor Skip. I was astounded that he knew Skip's name. Its not like he has seen him much this winter.

So here is my little list (that promises to grow, if I can just remember to write it down):

wa, do, tee, wa, dive! (1,2,3,4,5!)
I pay gay-gay (translation: I want to play with My First LeapPad cartridge "Jay-Jay the Jetplane")
hey doo-en? (translation: How are you doing, or what are you doing)
Wets doe De-De, wets doe! (Let's go Davis, let's go! - think baseball dugout chant, here)
bok-ki-ki (brocoli)
Oh my goog-guk, La-La! (Oh my goodness, Lindy!)
Ah wee hop-op-hop (Translation: I want you to read me the book Hop on Pop)
Bobby geans (jelly beans)

My Cleaning Schedule

By request, I post my declutter/cleaning schedule!

To create this, I sectioned my house off into 5 zones and assigned each region a day
1. Monday - Living room, Hallway & Stairs
2. Wednesday - Bathrooms
3. Thursday - Kitchen, Dining room & Family Room
4. Friday - Playroom
5. Saturday - Bedrooms

On Tuesday (notice it is missing from above), I take care of laundry for the week and do miscellaneous chores. Sunday I don't have any chores assigned. The goal is to have that be a rest day, or at least a catch-up day if it was a crazy week.

I work part-time, plus my husband works late many nights so I need to have enough energy to put all the kids to bed when he can't be there so rather than try to clean it all in one week, I give myself two weeks. I also switch it up so that the harder chores (like mopping the floors in the living room) don't fall in the same week.

Lastly (and here is my favorite part), now that the kids are trained on how to do these things, the actual amount of time spent cleaning is about 30 minutes or significantly less. Not bad! Oh, and since you will see that I rely upon the kids quite a bit to help, the counter in the bathroom, for instance, is not perfectly wiped, nor is the mirror wiped perfectly clean. But that is not the point in inviting the kids in on this part of being a family.



WEEK ONE

Monday: LIVING ROOM, HALLWAY & STAIRS
"Sweep, Mop & Wipe Day"
Jackson - put up all toys, misc things in prep for vacuumming; wipe glass tables, sweep hallway
Davis - vacuum carpet, sweep stairs and landing
Mom - Mop hallway, stairs & landing


Tuesday: LAUNDRY
"Laundry Day & Misc Chores"
Jackson & Davis - empty all trash cans, sort/put away kids clean laundry, round up and put away all outside toys
Mom - Laundry & misc chores or catch-up on cleaning that got missed


Wednesday: BATHROOMS
J - wipe sinks & counters
D - wipe toilets, bring in garbage and recycling bins from curb
M - scrub tub & sweep/mop floors in main bath


Thursday: KITCHEN, DINING & FAMILY ROOM
"Declutter & Dust Day"
J - dust TV stand
D - dust bookshelf
M - clear off kitchen hot spot, dust TV and high bookshelves, declutter
All - clean windows


Friday: PLAYROOM
"Dust & Declutter Day"
J - put toys away
D - sort toys into proper bins
M - declutter high shelves, sweep & dust


Saturday: BEDROOMS
"Change Sheets Day"
D&J - clear floor
All - strip beds
All - make beds


Sunday: REST!




WEEK TWO

Monday: LIVING ROOM, HALLWAY & STAIRS
"Declutter & Dust Day"
J - dust railing, sweep stairs & landing
D - put away toys, dust desk, window sills, fireplace & tables
M - declutter


Tuesday: LAUNDRY
"Laundry & Misc Chores"
D&J - empty all trash cans, sort & put away kids clean laundry, de-spiderweb porch/decks
M - laundry, sweep front porch &/or decks


Wednesday: BATHROOMS
J - wipe toilets
D - wipe sinks & counters, bring in recycle bins
M - Scrub shower, sweep & wipe floors in master bath


Thursday: KITCHEN, DINING & FAMILY ROOM
"Sweep & Mop Day"
J - pick up all toys, socks, shoes, etc (prep for mopping)
D - Sweep under all chairs
M - sweep & mop


Friday: PLAYROOM
"Dust & Vacuum Day"
D&J - pick up toys and put in proper bins
M - dust and vacuum


Saturday: BEDROOMS
"Dust and Declutter Day"
J - Pick up toys on floor, wipe window sills
D - put away toys on shelves (i.e. declutter shelves), dust shelves & dresser
M - declutter & dust master bedroom, little kids' rooms


Sunday: REST!


Did you read all the way down to here? Wow! I'm impressed! If you are drowning in clutter in your home, check out flylady.net for some amazing tips.

Keepin' It Real

Tagged by Ming, to show what a mom of four looks like first thing in the morning.

Keepin' It RealHere are the rules:

Take a picture of yourself right now.
No primping or preparing.
Just snap a picture.
Load the picture onto your blog.
Tag some people to play.

Ginger, Christine, TAG! You're it!