All Set for September to Start

I am a bit embarrassed to admit it since it is nearing the end of October, but I am just now finally ready for school to start. Granted, my two school-aged kids have been attending school since they opened the doors September 4th but I have not organized myself until just now. Er, well, I guess I still have some organizing to do, but the one thing I really wanted to get set up is just now finally set up.

The chore and laundry schedule. (Insert scary "Psycho" music here, if you like.)

I had a GREAT one all set up for myself and the boys for the summertime, when they had all day to whittle away on their chores. But I knew it needed to be modified for the school year. The reality of soccer and school (oops, I have that backwards don't I!!) is that there are not as many minutes in the day for the boys to do their homework, have free playtime, read together, AND accomplish the healthy list of summer chores. Well, there is that time, I guess, but then there are no empty spaces in the day to have poignant conversations about life and God. And we can't afford to let that to be missed.

So a Fall Chore Schedule I did create. (High Five to me!) I will introduce it to the boys after school. They won't know what hit them.

The interesting thing I discovered in these past 7 weeks without a plan of action is that I tended to hand chores out on any given day based upon my level of frustration or stress. Frustration with my load, frustration with their arguing, stressed about meeting all the needs of the day, frustration with the incredible mess we lived in, frustration-stress-frustration.

We want our boys to be hard workers. We want our boys to be responsible. We want our boys to work diligently without complaining. I am pretty sure these past 7 weeks were not actually accomplishing that. I am pretty sure they were instead learning how to avoid them ("play quietly with your brother and she won't bother you").

I am thankful to have a plan again. It feels good to be unemotional and in control in this area (there are ENOUGH areas that I have little control with... more on that, perhaps, later). It is one less thing I have to expend energy on, that thing being thinking up the day's chores.

I have made a sheet that spells out each day's chores for each boy (and you will remember that my boys do their own laundry now...oh I have a funny story about that...). We chatted yesterday about what it really means to, for example, clean the bathroom or do your laundry. Expectations have been set. The boys highlighted their name everywhere they saw it. They taped the list to a place where they can see it. They know all about the "bonus reward" they can receive for accomplishing the chores well all week without complaining or reminders.

The other person being trained, here, is ME. I can now look at my piece of paper with MY chores on it and know what I need to accomplish today (and today only!) so that by the end of the week generally everything has been given the once-over. I am a quasi-perfectionist which means that if i don't think i can do it perfectly, I won't bother to do it (what's the point!). Having a week long plan helps me through the hurdle in my mind, allowing me to just be diligent in today's work knowing that the rest will take care of itself.

Let the training recommence!

Dry Run

Summer is fast approaching. With one in school and the others still preschoolers, I am hardly well-versed at "how to do summer vacation well."
I have a few goals for my soon-to-be second-grader, and my nearly-kindergartner LOVES academic worksheets, math flashcards and reading lessons (how woulda thunk THAT one?) so I want to start the summer running with a new morning routine that mimicks what I imagine homeschool would look like in our house, should we ever go that route.

Wake up
Breakfast
Get dressed & ready for the day
(so far, this is nothing new)
Chores
Homework
Play-play-play!

On Memorial Day we did a "Dry Run," where I gave the kids a taste of what the summer mornings would be like. It was abbreviated and a bit rocky, but the expectations are now set for the older two and I am (nearly) ready with the new, "enhanced" (read: longer!) chore lists.

There is still a little bit of time before school ends, so if this idea gets you all excited, make a plan for this saturday. Or, if you don't have school-aged kids yet, YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

I highly recommend the Expectation-setting Dry Run a week or so before you make the change. Happy thinking!

My Cleaning Schedule

By request, I post my declutter/cleaning schedule!

To create this, I sectioned my house off into 5 zones and assigned each region a day
1. Monday - Living room, Hallway & Stairs
2. Wednesday - Bathrooms
3. Thursday - Kitchen, Dining room & Family Room
4. Friday - Playroom
5. Saturday - Bedrooms

On Tuesday (notice it is missing from above), I take care of laundry for the week and do miscellaneous chores. Sunday I don't have any chores assigned. The goal is to have that be a rest day, or at least a catch-up day if it was a crazy week.

I work part-time, plus my husband works late many nights so I need to have enough energy to put all the kids to bed when he can't be there so rather than try to clean it all in one week, I give myself two weeks. I also switch it up so that the harder chores (like mopping the floors in the living room) don't fall in the same week.

Lastly (and here is my favorite part), now that the kids are trained on how to do these things, the actual amount of time spent cleaning is about 30 minutes or significantly less. Not bad! Oh, and since you will see that I rely upon the kids quite a bit to help, the counter in the bathroom, for instance, is not perfectly wiped, nor is the mirror wiped perfectly clean. But that is not the point in inviting the kids in on this part of being a family.



WEEK ONE

Monday: LIVING ROOM, HALLWAY & STAIRS
"Sweep, Mop & Wipe Day"
Jackson - put up all toys, misc things in prep for vacuumming; wipe glass tables, sweep hallway
Davis - vacuum carpet, sweep stairs and landing
Mom - Mop hallway, stairs & landing


Tuesday: LAUNDRY
"Laundry Day & Misc Chores"
Jackson & Davis - empty all trash cans, sort/put away kids clean laundry, round up and put away all outside toys
Mom - Laundry & misc chores or catch-up on cleaning that got missed


Wednesday: BATHROOMS
J - wipe sinks & counters
D - wipe toilets, bring in garbage and recycling bins from curb
M - scrub tub & sweep/mop floors in main bath


Thursday: KITCHEN, DINING & FAMILY ROOM
"Declutter & Dust Day"
J - dust TV stand
D - dust bookshelf
M - clear off kitchen hot spot, dust TV and high bookshelves, declutter
All - clean windows


Friday: PLAYROOM
"Dust & Declutter Day"
J - put toys away
D - sort toys into proper bins
M - declutter high shelves, sweep & dust


Saturday: BEDROOMS
"Change Sheets Day"
D&J - clear floor
All - strip beds
All - make beds


Sunday: REST!




WEEK TWO

Monday: LIVING ROOM, HALLWAY & STAIRS
"Declutter & Dust Day"
J - dust railing, sweep stairs & landing
D - put away toys, dust desk, window sills, fireplace & tables
M - declutter


Tuesday: LAUNDRY
"Laundry & Misc Chores"
D&J - empty all trash cans, sort & put away kids clean laundry, de-spiderweb porch/decks
M - laundry, sweep front porch &/or decks


Wednesday: BATHROOMS
J - wipe toilets
D - wipe sinks & counters, bring in recycle bins
M - Scrub shower, sweep & wipe floors in master bath


Thursday: KITCHEN, DINING & FAMILY ROOM
"Sweep & Mop Day"
J - pick up all toys, socks, shoes, etc (prep for mopping)
D - Sweep under all chairs
M - sweep & mop


Friday: PLAYROOM
"Dust & Vacuum Day"
D&J - pick up toys and put in proper bins
M - dust and vacuum


Saturday: BEDROOMS
"Dust and Declutter Day"
J - Pick up toys on floor, wipe window sills
D - put away toys on shelves (i.e. declutter shelves), dust shelves & dresser
M - declutter & dust master bedroom, little kids' rooms


Sunday: REST!


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Into a Summer Swang

I would be lying if I said that we have kept up with our wonderful afternoon routine that was created at the beginning of the year. But in fairness, it was the first trimester yucks that pulled us from it. Our afternoon routine now consists of my pathetic effort to climb the stairs at noon after working for the business all morning, give a few hugs, toss the baby into bed if he is not there already, and then set the kids up in front of a 30 minute show so I can close my eyes and rest my weary body. I threaten them with all sorts of horrible things if they play or argue loudly enough to awaken me, and I leave them for a good ninety minutes. They are usually little angels. When I nod off cuddled up to my body pillow (thank you Megan), I catch some serious shuteye, usually rising only because the baby has woken up and started to jump and play in his crib. Now, after nearly a month of this "routine" my kids eagerly ask as I make my climb up from my office if I will be taking a nap today (reading between the lines, "can we watch a show, Mommy??"). Though this routine is nothing to be proud of, in the big picture, "no child is harmed in the making of this movie."

Getting back from my digression, the yucks remain for another couple of weeks (maybe less) but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and after the super-hot sunny wave we enjoyed last week, I also see that the routine that was so wonderful for the winter must be shipped off to Alaska or Sweden, or some other sad place where people don't wear tank tops while gardening. A new summer routine must be birthed.


I usually "think big" to a fault at first - to the point that I want to give up before I even start. I have wonderful, lofty, doomed-to-fail ideas of how I want the kids to do all these marvelous things without complaint, without hesitation, and with all the diligence of pre-adults. I have learned over the years how to actually make it happen: by building a routine around a fixed daily event (meal and/or snack time is my personal choice) adding to it slowly, one week at a time, one activity/goal at a time.


The first major change that must be made is that all the important stuff needs to take place first thing in the morning. In the warm weather, my kids play quite happily all afternoon outside, and I am happy that they do that. They get tons of exercise, and they get dirty-dirty-dirty. I love that. But I don't love it in the house. So the last thing I want to do is invite the dirt in prematurely. Not a very godly reason, but its the truth.

And since school is out, I want to take advantage of a slower morning to read the Bible together, have Bible quiet times again, and spend a little time alone with each of my bigger boys practicing reading. The kids will be devastated to learn that the summer daily routine will likely not include TV. I have other things in mind that I would like to build into the routine, but if I list them all I will get that hopelessly overwhelmed feeling in the back of my eyes and I will be tempted to just keep on napping.

Let's not go there!!

WFMW - Schedule THIS.

If you have ever wished (to no avail) that you could create a "way we do things" and a "when we do things" with the kids, this post is aimed at you.

To start with, some minds are made for creating systems and order. For example, they love coming up with spreadsheets that detail out every hour of their day. Other brains were created to maintain an existing system or order. Give them that pre-made spreadsheet and they go to town!

However, Ask a systems-creator to actually maintain their brilliant system and you might find that they are all gusto in the first week, and then quickly peeter out, unable to keep up with the demands of their awesome way of doing something. Furthermore, ask a natural-born "maintainer" to come up with a brilliant system for making the day go (albeit theoretically) smooth like silk and you might find her eyes welling up with tears because the task seems insurmountable. The bottom line here is that most of us stink at order, though we all long for it.

So might I suggest a gentler way to "schedule" your day with your preschool kiddos.

• First, find a fixed point in your day that pretty much happens whether the sky falls or not. How about lunchtime.
• Next, decide on something that you would like to see happen every day, like picking up toys before naptime. If your brain works like mine, it gets all excited and goes crazy at this step, so let yourself dream about the wonderful things you could accomplish with your kids if there was a schedule, but then hold back and PACE YOURSELF!
• Talk about it with your kids. Say, "starting Monday, we are going to..."
• Start super slow. Finish the sentence you started above with, "...spend 5 minutes picking up our toys," even if you know it would really take a solid 15-30 minutes.
• Add chunks of time or tasks as the weeks progress. "Starting on Valentines Day we are going to spend 10 minutes picking up the toys." Then, "Starting in March we are going to keep working until the whole place is clean!"
• Continue to build around that fixed point. "Spring Break is coming, kids" (like your preschoolers have any idea, but you get my drift, right?) "and starting then we are going to do one chore each day before lunchtime."
• Stay positive and fun. Make games out of things as they adjust to the demands of the schedule. If one day is a disaster, focus on what did get done and start fresh tomorrow.

Now, I don't care if your house is clean before naptime or if your kids are doing chores, but can you see how I am building around a fixed point (lunch), and doing things in small increments in order to create a routine? You are not overwhelmed at the task of maintaining something impossible, and the kids are not overwhelmed by a sudden major shift in their day. This is also a great way to establish a bedtime routine, get kids ready in the morning, accomplish homeschooling tasks (I might imagine), establishing a quiet time when naps are no longer part of the day, or...

I have been working off of this principle since January 1, 2008. I started super small, like I described, with just '4 minutes of reading the Bible after lunch.' Now it is early February and the kids and I have sucessfully added the following things to our after-lunch-and-when-mommy-gets-home-from-work routine:

• Recycle the under the sink pile
• Feed the cat
• Pick up the baby toys that the (now napping) baby pulled out that morning
• Do one extra chore, for example laundry (I have to think ahead on that one and write in on my kitchen dry-erase board the night before or during breakfast.)
• Read a couple pages in The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes.
• Practice our weekly verse (supplied for us by our Sunday School class)
• 40 minutes of Bible Quiet time (even the baby participates in this: I place him in his crib with lots of toys, binkis, and his favorite CD...we have been slowly working up to this with him!)
• A quick snack
• And then the big reward: 30 minutes of some beloved show we have TiVoed (one of these days I think I will post something on the virtures of digital video recorders).

The kids then play (usually quite happily) until dinner time. Granted, that hour can still be a bewitched one, with tempers on the edge and tears-a-plenty. The only thing I have found that works here every time is an earlier dinner, a spoil-your-dinner healthy snack, or TV (lame!). Got any ideas on that one?

For more great tips and other Works For Me Wednesdays, visit Rocks In My Dryer.