Tip #10
Nurture independence as much as possible.
As much as I can't wait for my kids to relying upon me less, I catch myself all-too-often shooting myself in the foot, not allowing them to make steps in that direction. They want to try to buckle themselves in their booster but I am in too much of a hurry and do it for them. They want to get themselves a drink of water but I don't want to clean up a water spill so I get it for them. They want to use the apple slicer to cut their own apple but I already know they cannot possibly succeed so I find myself struggling to let them just try before I insist we do it together.
Obviously, taking the time to allow the kids to try things is well worth the time. It would be ridiculous to say otherwise but if that is the case, why do I find I must convince myself of this over and over again? It requires me to slow down, be patient, and watch them struggle even to the point of frustration. That is no small task!
My husband challenged me on this topic earlier this year. He did not appreciate how much the kids expected of me and did not like the way they were treating me (I had not noticed... too busy pouring water and slicing apples, I guess). He made the point that we are raising men and that men need to be given the chance to figure things out, to struggle some, and to ultimately become independent of me. So I took his advice to heart and have been focusing on NOT DOING THINGS FOR MY KIDS THAT THEY THEMSELVES CAN DO. In addition, when I hear them subtly asking for my help without actually asking - like for instance complaining that "I'm thirsty!" rather than asking politely for a drink of water - I use that as another opportunity to nurture independence by asking "How are you going to solve this problem?"
I love putting the thinking back on them. And I love that they are catching on that they are good problem solvers and that there are lots of things they don't actually need me for!
Showing posts with label Ryan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ryan. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
One Week Down, 3 to go!
For anyone who is still reading my sorely-neglected blog, you might be interested to know that I survived week one of January. Check these off the list:
One New Years Eve party hosted
One New Years Eve party cleaned up
One 9.5 hour long business meeting for the new clinic. Check. (Don't YOU wish YOU were in an all-day meeting on a Saturday in January? It was really exciting, actually. Yeah, I am that kind of dork.)
One Sunday School lesson taught.
Can I just tell you that ALL THAT was done in a period of 3.5 days, from Thursday night to Sunday morning.
The rest of the week's focus: getting the new clinic listed as "in network" at a bjillion insurance companies. The mounds of paperwork associated with that is impressive.
This new clinic we are starting up is quite exciting to me. We are working with a company that just started up. Seeing the woman who started this hand therapy practice her go through this process - all the thousands of tiny (yet huge) decisions that have to be made - reminds both Ryan and I of where we were four years ago. It is a monumental thing to go into business for yourself. Add to that the complexities of healthcare and insurance contracting and you have yourself a big task. Turns out you eat this elephant just like any other piece of meat: one bite at a time.
That is where Ryan and I come in: we are guiding and facilitating the consumption of this elephant. And we are using our prior elephant-eating experience as a guide. It is incredibly satisfying to assist someone else get started with their own business. (It would have been A.MAZE.ING to have someone hold our hand through the process, as the learning curve was tremendously steep.)
So we end this week, Ryan and I, with a date. We are taking our two big boys up to the mountain for a day of skiing (lessons for half the day for them, while Mom and Dad attack the mountain). Thanks to Maryann for watching the little ones while we enjoy being otherwise irresponsible.
And about skiing.. Ryan has been absolutely giddy with excitement. He told me today that he is excited because he is skiing with ME. I love that he wants to spend time with me. I am so blessed to be married to this man.
One New Years Eve party hosted
One New Years Eve party cleaned up
One 9.5 hour long business meeting for the new clinic. Check. (Don't YOU wish YOU were in an all-day meeting on a Saturday in January? It was really exciting, actually. Yeah, I am that kind of dork.)
One Sunday School lesson taught.
Can I just tell you that ALL THAT was done in a period of 3.5 days, from Thursday night to Sunday morning.
The rest of the week's focus: getting the new clinic listed as "in network" at a bjillion insurance companies. The mounds of paperwork associated with that is impressive.
This new clinic we are starting up is quite exciting to me. We are working with a company that just started up. Seeing the woman who started this hand therapy practice her go through this process - all the thousands of tiny (yet huge) decisions that have to be made - reminds both Ryan and I of where we were four years ago. It is a monumental thing to go into business for yourself. Add to that the complexities of healthcare and insurance contracting and you have yourself a big task. Turns out you eat this elephant just like any other piece of meat: one bite at a time.
That is where Ryan and I come in: we are guiding and facilitating the consumption of this elephant. And we are using our prior elephant-eating experience as a guide. It is incredibly satisfying to assist someone else get started with their own business. (It would have been A.MAZE.ING to have someone hold our hand through the process, as the learning curve was tremendously steep.)
So we end this week, Ryan and I, with a date. We are taking our two big boys up to the mountain for a day of skiing (lessons for half the day for them, while Mom and Dad attack the mountain). Thanks to Maryann for watching the little ones while we enjoy being otherwise irresponsible.
And about skiing.. Ryan has been absolutely giddy with excitement. He told me today that he is excited because he is skiing with ME. I love that he wants to spend time with me. I am so blessed to be married to this man.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Ouch!
I shared with you earlier that I have been reading a great book on marriage. I am reading it REALLY s.l.o.w.l.y. Wanna know what is hitting me most?
Here is what I read today:
" 'Allison's' deepest heart's desire is for her husband to make her feel a certain way. Her desires are not necessarily bad. The problem, however, is when they become more important to her than a pure devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. Whenever a wife sets her heart on her husband behaving a certain way, she will likely end up disappointed, frustrated, and hurt. A primary clue to recognize that a heart's desire has become an idol (something more important to her than delighting in and serving God), is that the wife is willing to sin in order to attain that desire. Instead of setting her heart on her husband, Allison's deepest desires should be the same as those of the Psalmist in Psalm 119. He desired, sought after, and longed after God with all his heart." (The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p65)
Possible Idolatrous/Lustful Desires
1. That my husband will be affectionate.
2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
3. That he will give me compliments.
4. That he will make me feel special.
5. That he will not hurt my feelings.
6. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feeings.
7. That he will put me first.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p68-69)
So, I won't say outloud which number is the one I struggle with most, but just know that my struggle is listed above!
Right Desires
1. That I may know God's Word and obey it.
2. That I may delight in Him.
3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p69)
Martha lists six things that we wives can do to set our minds on things above. Come back later this week and I will have them for you!
Here is what I read today:
" 'Allison's' deepest heart's desire is for her husband to make her feel a certain way. Her desires are not necessarily bad. The problem, however, is when they become more important to her than a pure devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. Whenever a wife sets her heart on her husband behaving a certain way, she will likely end up disappointed, frustrated, and hurt. A primary clue to recognize that a heart's desire has become an idol (something more important to her than delighting in and serving God), is that the wife is willing to sin in order to attain that desire. Instead of setting her heart on her husband, Allison's deepest desires should be the same as those of the Psalmist in Psalm 119. He desired, sought after, and longed after God with all his heart." (The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p65)
Possible Idolatrous/Lustful Desires
1. That my husband will be affectionate.
2. That he will anticipate my needs without my asking.
3. That he will give me compliments.
4. That he will make me feel special.
5. That he will not hurt my feelings.
6. That he will talk to me and share his thoughts and feeings.
7. That he will put me first.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p68-69)
So, I won't say outloud which number is the one I struggle with most, but just know that my struggle is listed above!
Right Desires
1. That I may know God's Word and obey it.
2. That I may delight in Him.
3. That I may seek Him with all my heart.
4. That I may be pleasing to Him regardless of my circumstances.
5. That I may cultivate an attitude of joy and gratitude in what God is doing in my life no matter what my husband does or does not do.
6. That I may have joy in God deciding how my life and circumstances can glorify Him the most, that He can use me for His glory.
(The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace, p69)
Martha lists six things that we wives can do to set our minds on things above. Come back later this week and I will have them for you!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My Main Ministry: Ryan
I have been convicted lately to look carefully at how I am doing in terms of my marriage. I spend a TON of time thinking about how I can be a better mom but not nearly enough energy considering where I might improve my ministry to my husband.
I have a book on my bookshelf, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, that I read about 5 years ago. And I have known for a while that it is time to pick it up again and do a personal "check up." It is so interesting what stuck out at me five years ago verses what is sticking out this time. My initial read-through of this book gave me permission to follow and submit to Ryan, even when I thought I had a better (read: right) way to do things. I honestly thought that if I had a better idea than him, that it would be wrong to follow his lead... that I was supposed to "follow" my spiritual leader, so long as he was spiritually leading well. After reading the book 5 years ago, I learned that I needed to follow and submit to his leadership regardless of his ability to lead, and regardless of whether or not I had a better idea. This revolutionized my concept of submission in a really good way. I saw that it was not my responsibility to make sure we were doing the best thing. What freedom I found in letting that go!
In my current read-through of this great book, one sentence has really impacted me more than any other (so far):
God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband.
This is something I have known for a long time but it is sinking deep into my fibers this time. Am I running my hours, days, weeks, and months as though this is what I believe? What am I doing that communicates this truth? If I am doing something intentional to minister to Ryan, is it something Ryan actually values, or is it something I merely THINK he values?
I am convicted to answer these questions. I want Ryan to believe that he has no bigger advocate on earth than his wife; No more enthusiastic cheerleader than the woman he married.
Have you given this any thought? I know that for a long time I felt like I could not be the kind of godly wife I was supposed to be "because he...". I played a blame game, believing that my role was stifled when he did not fulfill his role. Martha's book reminds me that there is only one thing that keeps me from being a godly wife: my own sin. One sin I see I have committed over and over again is the presumption that God will help me even when I am neglecting His truth. Why would God answer my cry for help when I am using my tongue to cut Ryan down, or allowing my mind to dream what it would be like "if only..."
Martha's answer to this problem: Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse. Her loving, merciful, and holy God has truly provided everything she needs to become a godly wife - to become the excellent wife that God wants her to be. And even when she falls short, she can be forgiven. 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness' (1 John 1:9).
I want my life and my relationship with my husband to glorify You, Jesus!
I have a book on my bookshelf, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, that I read about 5 years ago. And I have known for a while that it is time to pick it up again and do a personal "check up." It is so interesting what stuck out at me five years ago verses what is sticking out this time. My initial read-through of this book gave me permission to follow and submit to Ryan, even when I thought I had a better (read: right) way to do things. I honestly thought that if I had a better idea than him, that it would be wrong to follow his lead... that I was supposed to "follow" my spiritual leader, so long as he was spiritually leading well. After reading the book 5 years ago, I learned that I needed to follow and submit to his leadership regardless of his ability to lead, and regardless of whether or not I had a better idea. This revolutionized my concept of submission in a really good way. I saw that it was not my responsibility to make sure we were doing the best thing. What freedom I found in letting that go!
In my current read-through of this great book, one sentence has really impacted me more than any other (so far):
God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband.
This is something I have known for a long time but it is sinking deep into my fibers this time. Am I running my hours, days, weeks, and months as though this is what I believe? What am I doing that communicates this truth? If I am doing something intentional to minister to Ryan, is it something Ryan actually values, or is it something I merely THINK he values?
I am convicted to answer these questions. I want Ryan to believe that he has no bigger advocate on earth than his wife; No more enthusiastic cheerleader than the woman he married.
Have you given this any thought? I know that for a long time I felt like I could not be the kind of godly wife I was supposed to be "because he...". I played a blame game, believing that my role was stifled when he did not fulfill his role. Martha's book reminds me that there is only one thing that keeps me from being a godly wife: my own sin. One sin I see I have committed over and over again is the presumption that God will help me even when I am neglecting His truth. Why would God answer my cry for help when I am using my tongue to cut Ryan down, or allowing my mind to dream what it would be like "if only..."
Martha's answer to this problem: Because God has so richly provided for a Christian wife in her battle against sin, she is without excuse. Her loving, merciful, and holy God has truly provided everything she needs to become a godly wife - to become the excellent wife that God wants her to be. And even when she falls short, she can be forgiven. 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness' (1 John 1:9).
I want my life and my relationship with my husband to glorify You, Jesus!
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Jump from 3 to 4 kids? Easy-Cheesy!
Lots of people are asking me the same question and I have pretty much the same response every time:
"So," they ask, "How is the adjustment from three kids to four?"
"You know," I say with a touch -too-much smugness, "It really is not that different."
Ryan - bless his heart - has heard me give that response a handful of times now and last week he piped up. "You know, Jenne, you keep on saying that things are not much different. But believe me - they are!"
"Really?"
"Yes. Really."
"Huh. I don't feel like I am more stressed or crazy." (Insert pregnant pause here, while Ryan waits for his dopy wife to connect the dots... He has been stepping up to the plate big time since Drake was born. I just can't juggle all the kids by myself at church, and I need help getting everyone loaded up into the car, and his help is critical now at bedtime, and...on and on. He is definitely picking up the pieces that I drop.)
"Uuh, I sure appreciate all the help you are giving me, Ryan."
"Yeah, sure. No problem. But the next time someone asks you that, you can't say that it is no different. It might not be different for you, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I AM HELPING."
So here's a big shout out to my amazing husband who has quietly filled in the mother-gaps (and they are GAPING at times) while I have proclaimed that I can do it all with one hand tied behind my back.
Truth be told, I am on a sinking ship without my Maker and the man He gave me!
"So," they ask, "How is the adjustment from three kids to four?"
"You know," I say with a touch -too-much smugness, "It really is not that different."
Ryan - bless his heart - has heard me give that response a handful of times now and last week he piped up. "You know, Jenne, you keep on saying that things are not much different. But believe me - they are!"
"Really?"
"Yes. Really."
"Huh. I don't feel like I am more stressed or crazy." (Insert pregnant pause here, while Ryan waits for his dopy wife to connect the dots... He has been stepping up to the plate big time since Drake was born. I just can't juggle all the kids by myself at church, and I need help getting everyone loaded up into the car, and his help is critical now at bedtime, and...on and on. He is definitely picking up the pieces that I drop.)
"Uuh, I sure appreciate all the help you are giving me, Ryan."
"Yeah, sure. No problem. But the next time someone asks you that, you can't say that it is no different. It might not be different for you, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I AM HELPING."
So here's a big shout out to my amazing husband who has quietly filled in the mother-gaps (and they are GAPING at times) while I have proclaimed that I can do it all with one hand tied behind my back.
Truth be told, I am on a sinking ship without my Maker and the man He gave me!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I Love That Man
Ryan and I got to work together all afternoon today. It was really wonderful. Tiffany took our two big boys, and the two little boys took monster-sized naps. In the mean time, we laid down our new laminate flooring in our family and dining rooms. We were in a groove, working so well together, solving the few problems that came up, but mostly just diligently laying those boards and chatting. Ryan told me what to do and I did it with a genuine, smiling, willingness. I wish I was always so pleasant to him... he deserves at least that much.
The only thing I like more that working together with Ryan is watching him laugh with our boys. It absolutely delights me! And that's was I was treated to during a break from the flooring. The boys had returned to us and we dined together on Pizza from Sparky's (notice I capitalized "pizza," as though its place in our family rises to the level of proper noun...) in our basement, the last bit of square footage that is not in total disarray. Aw, who am I kidding; it was a disaster area, too, but at least it was free of sharp edges and fascinating tools.
Thanks, hun, for a great day and for being such a wonderful daddy.
The only thing I like more that working together with Ryan is watching him laugh with our boys. It absolutely delights me! And that's was I was treated to during a break from the flooring. The boys had returned to us and we dined together on Pizza from Sparky's (notice I capitalized "pizza," as though its place in our family rises to the level of proper noun...) in our basement, the last bit of square footage that is not in total disarray. Aw, who am I kidding; it was a disaster area, too, but at least it was free of sharp edges and fascinating tools.
Thanks, hun, for a great day and for being such a wonderful daddy.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
25 Random Things
It's a Facebook Phenomenon. I can't resist...
1. All my nails grow long and lovely except my thumbnails. They always split WAY too low and I have to clip them when they do.
2. I am not a people pleaser, but I am learning the virtue of compassion and genuine concern.
3. My two year old is currently screaming and crying because he needs to have a BM but is afraid to do the deed. Patience, Jenne. He will eventually figure it all out.
4. The year we studied Genesis in Women's Bible Study changed my life and taught me what the term Grace really means. I am still astounded that God would choose such screwed up people to bless and do His work in this world. That knowledge gives me great hope!
5. I run all my shoe choices by my husband, who has 100% veto power. Foot Fettish, he has.
6. I don't believe in anti-bacterial soap. No super germs in this household, thank you very much.
7. I used to wear contacts but my husband gave me the gift of Laser Eye Surgery about five years ago. Thanks again, sweetie!
8. I have never downloaded an MP3 to listen on an MP3 player.
9. Ever since I was in high school, I have been excited to be in my 40's. I have this notion that by that age, I will probably know enough that people will actually think I know what I am talking about.
10. I secretly panic when I see a pair of snow ski gloves not being worn that are not hooked together by that little hooky doo-hicky thing. I have my father to thank for that. It was a BIG DEAL to not hook your gloves together. I guess we lost a fair share of single gloves in our day.
11. I am so proud of my husband. He has built up our little business from nothing and worked so hard to keep it strong. I never knew how wise he was until he took this venture on! (I am a slow learner)
12. I wear size 11 1/2 shoes. Yeah, yeah, I know. I can ski on them.
13. I have dreams of one day getting to speak often in front of groups of fellow moms.
14. I love-love-love having four boys. I lay awake at night praising God, just amazed at how blessed I am to have the honor of raising them with my husband.
15. I enjoyed my first peanut butter and jelly sandwich at age 19. Prior to that, peanut butter made me gag. (How on earth did my mother survive 19 years of peanut butterless lunch-making?!
16. I pretty much always think I am right, and usually others believe me (or they say they do) because I can say "it" with such confidence but I actually, am wrong a lot. (Don't tell my husband.)
17. I never had even an inkling of a desire to travel anywhere beyond Bend or Seattle until Ryan dragged me to Sweden 5 years ago. Now, the travel bug has given me the itch. Let's explore South America, sweetie!!
18. I shop at Kmart rather than Walmart because I don't impulsively buy things there. Who would? I came in for shampoo and razors. I leave with shampoo and razors. Saves me tons of cash.
19. My sister is my bestest friend.
20. I can count on one hand the number of times she and fought as kids. Really.
21. I was a cheerleader in high school. Some of my best high school memories are from the top of that wooden cube they had each of us cheer from.
22. I have been learning how to enjoy my kids more this year. Thanks Lindy.
23. I am not a saver...I am a tosser. And it has gotten me in trouble pretty much everywhere I have been. Once I tossed Ryan's favorite pair of bright, bright yellow (uuu-guh-lee!) shorts with the Squirt soda pop emblem on the front of them. They were his frat party dancing shorts Freshman year. He was sooooooo mad at me. I was sooooooo sorry (that he noticed they were missing). It took him several years to forgive me and stop bringing it up.
24. I don't scrapbook. I don't take pictures (very often). I am glad I don't do the former. I kick myself for not doing more of the latter.
25. I am really good at starting projects but have to force myself to fi
1. All my nails grow long and lovely except my thumbnails. They always split WAY too low and I have to clip them when they do.
2. I am not a people pleaser, but I am learning the virtue of compassion and genuine concern.
3. My two year old is currently screaming and crying because he needs to have a BM but is afraid to do the deed. Patience, Jenne. He will eventually figure it all out.
4. The year we studied Genesis in Women's Bible Study changed my life and taught me what the term Grace really means. I am still astounded that God would choose such screwed up people to bless and do His work in this world. That knowledge gives me great hope!
5. I run all my shoe choices by my husband, who has 100% veto power. Foot Fettish, he has.
6. I don't believe in anti-bacterial soap. No super germs in this household, thank you very much.
7. I used to wear contacts but my husband gave me the gift of Laser Eye Surgery about five years ago. Thanks again, sweetie!
8. I have never downloaded an MP3 to listen on an MP3 player.
9. Ever since I was in high school, I have been excited to be in my 40's. I have this notion that by that age, I will probably know enough that people will actually think I know what I am talking about.
10. I secretly panic when I see a pair of snow ski gloves not being worn that are not hooked together by that little hooky doo-hicky thing. I have my father to thank for that. It was a BIG DEAL to not hook your gloves together. I guess we lost a fair share of single gloves in our day.
11. I am so proud of my husband. He has built up our little business from nothing and worked so hard to keep it strong. I never knew how wise he was until he took this venture on! (I am a slow learner)
12. I wear size 11 1/2 shoes. Yeah, yeah, I know. I can ski on them.
13. I have dreams of one day getting to speak often in front of groups of fellow moms.
14. I love-love-love having four boys. I lay awake at night praising God, just amazed at how blessed I am to have the honor of raising them with my husband.
15. I enjoyed my first peanut butter and jelly sandwich at age 19. Prior to that, peanut butter made me gag. (How on earth did my mother survive 19 years of peanut butterless lunch-making?!
16. I pretty much always think I am right, and usually others believe me (or they say they do) because I can say "it" with such confidence but I actually, am wrong a lot. (Don't tell my husband.)
17. I never had even an inkling of a desire to travel anywhere beyond Bend or Seattle until Ryan dragged me to Sweden 5 years ago. Now, the travel bug has given me the itch. Let's explore South America, sweetie!!
18. I shop at Kmart rather than Walmart because I don't impulsively buy things there. Who would? I came in for shampoo and razors. I leave with shampoo and razors. Saves me tons of cash.
19. My sister is my bestest friend.
20. I can count on one hand the number of times she and fought as kids. Really.
21. I was a cheerleader in high school. Some of my best high school memories are from the top of that wooden cube they had each of us cheer from.
22. I have been learning how to enjoy my kids more this year. Thanks Lindy.
23. I am not a saver...I am a tosser. And it has gotten me in trouble pretty much everywhere I have been. Once I tossed Ryan's favorite pair of bright, bright yellow (uuu-guh-lee!) shorts with the Squirt soda pop emblem on the front of them. They were his frat party dancing shorts Freshman year. He was sooooooo mad at me. I was sooooooo sorry (that he noticed they were missing). It took him several years to forgive me and stop bringing it up.
24. I don't scrapbook. I don't take pictures (very often). I am glad I don't do the former. I kick myself for not doing more of the latter.
25. I am really good at starting projects but have to force myself to fi
Monday, February 2, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me.
Some sixteen years ago, after Ryan and I had been dating a mere 3 months, we had a funny conversation that we always remember every February 2nd. The story goes something like this:
Ryan had not known me long enough to know just how much of a birthday brat I am and so when I told him on that cold January day, "My birthday is coming up soon, you know." He wracked his brain nervously, wanting so desperately to impress his first and only girlfriend he had ever had. "Yeah. Your birthday is February 2nd!"
Offended that he had not remembered the correct date (he clearly did not know that it is a national holiday), I answered with a huff and a puff, "February 2nd?! No! It's August 1st! How could you not remember?!"
"You said it was 'coming up soon!' August is not soon! You tricked me."
"No, I did not trick you. August is coming up soon. Its only 8 months away and then its my birthday!"
So now, every year, he wishes me Happy Birthday on February 2nd, and begins his preparation for the national holiday that is "just around the corner."
Ryan had not known me long enough to know just how much of a birthday brat I am and so when I told him on that cold January day, "My birthday is coming up soon, you know." He wracked his brain nervously, wanting so desperately to impress his first and only girlfriend he had ever had. "Yeah. Your birthday is February 2nd!"
Offended that he had not remembered the correct date (he clearly did not know that it is a national holiday), I answered with a huff and a puff, "February 2nd?! No! It's August 1st! How could you not remember?!"
"You said it was 'coming up soon!' August is not soon! You tricked me."
"No, I did not trick you. August is coming up soon. Its only 8 months away and then its my birthday!"
So now, every year, he wishes me Happy Birthday on February 2nd, and begins his preparation for the national holiday that is "just around the corner."
Friday, December 26, 2008
Don't tell Tiffany, please
Please don't tell Tiffany, but for Ryan's Christmas present I caved. I totally and completely caved. And now I am "the best wife ever." So, I am sorry. I hope she will still be my friend. And yes, Andrew, you and the fam can come and play. Anytime. If your wife can forgive me.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A Poopy Morning
So technically my morning started at 2am, when I woke up and was unable to fall back asleep. But then I did, at 5AM, and my loving husband let me sleep in until 8AM. And therefore, technically, the first thing I got to do this morning was sleep. That automatically makes it a good morning.
Thirty minutes before 8AM, I vaguely heard Ryan put Weston in the tub (a favorite activity of this toddler). I fell back asleep and awoke at 8AM to Weston half-yelling, "Uh-Oh" and "Nayah!" Those two words in succession are a good clue that something must be addressed in short order. I got up and found Weston standing in the tub, pointing to the water.
You already know what I found. The question is, was is solid or not? The unfortunate answer is "not." Floating in and amongst our modest supply of bath toys was a copious amount of poo. While Ryan hosed Weston off in the other bathroom's shower, I spent the next little portion of my morning scrubbing, bleaching, and sanitizing the toys and tub. Of course any toy that had cracks or crevices automatically earned a one-way ticket to the garbage can. So now our bath toy collection includes only cups. All the cute little fish that, when you pull the cord make a swimming motion have been sacrificed in favor of poop-less-ness.
I easily return my thoughts to the part of the morning where I was sleeping and can say that the morning - despite the poopy tub - was a good one. Thanks, Ryan, for letting me catch those extra Zzzz's.
Thirty minutes before 8AM, I vaguely heard Ryan put Weston in the tub (a favorite activity of this toddler). I fell back asleep and awoke at 8AM to Weston half-yelling, "Uh-Oh" and "Nayah!" Those two words in succession are a good clue that something must be addressed in short order. I got up and found Weston standing in the tub, pointing to the water.
You already know what I found. The question is, was is solid or not? The unfortunate answer is "not." Floating in and amongst our modest supply of bath toys was a copious amount of poo. While Ryan hosed Weston off in the other bathroom's shower, I spent the next little portion of my morning scrubbing, bleaching, and sanitizing the toys and tub. Of course any toy that had cracks or crevices automatically earned a one-way ticket to the garbage can. So now our bath toy collection includes only cups. All the cute little fish that, when you pull the cord make a swimming motion have been sacrificed in favor of poop-less-ness.
I easily return my thoughts to the part of the morning where I was sleeping and can say that the morning - despite the poopy tub - was a good one. Thanks, Ryan, for letting me catch those extra Zzzz's.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Eleven Years!
Saturday was our Wedding Anniversary. Eleven years. A year out of the single-digits and into the forever world of double digits.
So, we went away for a little less than 24 hours (thank you Maryann and Lindy for making this possible by We went to the beach. Romantic balcony room on the water. Jacuzzi Spa in the room. (This post will remain rated G, readers.) Suffice to say that we had a marvelous time alone together.
In the weeks leading up to our anniversary I would have to say that we have been in a season of nit-picking. I think I have done 87-92% of the picking. I am pregnant, after all, and have lost my mind. I have KNOWN in these nit-picking weeks that if I would just LET STUFF GO that we would both be so much happier, but alas, I had not the self control to make this happen. And when a man is being hen-pecked 92% of the time, what husband would be motivated to change his behavior either? So we were driving each other crazy for days and days, weeks and weeks on end choosing to fight every battle, all for the sake of simply being right.
Yuck.
But in the 36 hours before we went away (we argued about every detail of going away, by the way), we were both sweet like sugar to each other. And it was not a fake sugar. No aspartame or splenda here. We were both choosing to NOT fight battles that did not matter (something that my un-pregnant self can do usually much better, and something my unprovoked husband is GREAT at). In those glorious 36 hours, life around here was so nice.
I pray that in the next three months before this baby comes, and in the weeks following birth when my hormones REALLY wreak havoc on my mind and body (gotta love waking up drenched in postpartum night-sweats) that the Lord would comfort my husband who might just need it. More than that, though, I pray that I would not fight every battle, that I would find ways to build him up often, and that he would be blessed.
So, we went away for a little less than 24 hours (thank you Maryann and Lindy for making this possible by We went to the beach. Romantic balcony room on the water. Jacuzzi Spa in the room. (This post will remain rated G, readers.) Suffice to say that we had a marvelous time alone together.
In the weeks leading up to our anniversary I would have to say that we have been in a season of nit-picking. I think I have done 87-92% of the picking. I am pregnant, after all, and have lost my mind. I have KNOWN in these nit-picking weeks that if I would just LET STUFF GO that we would both be so much happier, but alas, I had not the self control to make this happen. And when a man is being hen-pecked 92% of the time, what husband would be motivated to change his behavior either? So we were driving each other crazy for days and days, weeks and weeks on end choosing to fight every battle, all for the sake of simply being right.
Yuck.
But in the 36 hours before we went away (we argued about every detail of going away, by the way), we were both sweet like sugar to each other. And it was not a fake sugar. No aspartame or splenda here. We were both choosing to NOT fight battles that did not matter (something that my un-pregnant self can do usually much better, and something my unprovoked husband is GREAT at). In those glorious 36 hours, life around here was so nice.
I pray that in the next three months before this baby comes, and in the weeks following birth when my hormones REALLY wreak havoc on my mind and body (gotta love waking up drenched in postpartum night-sweats) that the Lord would comfort my husband who might just need it. More than that, though, I pray that I would not fight every battle, that I would find ways to build him up often, and that he would be blessed.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Funny Kid
Jackson, at the dinner table tonight, got me giggling pretty good. He sits across from Ryan and so as he was talking, he was looking right at him: "Daddy? Am I ever going to have hair that falls to the sides," (Jackson does a little move with his hands showing the hair on the top of his head moving toward his ears) "and then gets tiny little hairs on top?"
Ever the good sport and without skipping a beat, Ryan answered, "If you're lucky!"
(This pic is not of tonight, but rather of Ryan teaching the kids how to play "War." The kids LOVE playing games with Daddy. He's such a great Dad.)
Saturday, June 21, 2008
A Virus Hit
Just when I was feeling better, I was hit this week with a terrible virus. It was not one I have ever had before (I have had worse), but it so filled me with exhaustion I could do little more than lay in my bed. (Do you feel sorry for me?) Anyway, since it was such a strange sickness with none of the usual fevers, vomitting, or the like, I wondered if I was losing my baby - a thought that sends me into a deep sadness that reminds me of the longing I had for a child when we were trying so hard to get pregnant with our first.
I made an appointment with my OB at the same time - so it happens - that Ryan had an appointment to see if a relapse of cancer would have us starting chemotherapy the following Monday. I wanted so badly to be with Ryan at that appointment, and had made all necessary arrangements to do so, but if what i had WAS a virus? Showing up to an office with cancer patients whose immune system is seriously compromised would be unkind and unethical. So instead I sat in my OBs office, just a building away, to hear a heart I prayed was still beating.
The Doppler thing-y that they listen to the heartbeat with immediately picked up little peanut's heart and I breathed easier for the first time in a few days. As I walked out of the office, my cell rang. It was Ryan. We were really preparing in every way, shape and form for Chemo to start. The mass that was detected was so suspicious as being a recurrence that we did not hardly dare to hope it was something else. But we did pray it would shrink on its own. I could not believe it when Ryan's voice came over the speaker: "It did not grow. It's the same size. We'll do another scan in three months, but for now at least, no need to do chemo. The doctor said it might not even be cancerous" WHAT?! THANK YOU FATHER! We were both in complete shock.
It was so cathartic. In less than 15 minutes time, we learned that our baby was preserved and that we had escaped the mess that is chemo. It was a good day. A good, good day.
I made an appointment with my OB at the same time - so it happens - that Ryan had an appointment to see if a relapse of cancer would have us starting chemotherapy the following Monday. I wanted so badly to be with Ryan at that appointment, and had made all necessary arrangements to do so, but if what i had WAS a virus? Showing up to an office with cancer patients whose immune system is seriously compromised would be unkind and unethical. So instead I sat in my OBs office, just a building away, to hear a heart I prayed was still beating.
The Doppler thing-y that they listen to the heartbeat with immediately picked up little peanut's heart and I breathed easier for the first time in a few days. As I walked out of the office, my cell rang. It was Ryan. We were really preparing in every way, shape and form for Chemo to start. The mass that was detected was so suspicious as being a recurrence that we did not hardly dare to hope it was something else. But we did pray it would shrink on its own. I could not believe it when Ryan's voice came over the speaker: "It did not grow. It's the same size. We'll do another scan in three months, but for now at least, no need to do chemo. The doctor said it might not even be cancerous" WHAT?! THANK YOU FATHER! We were both in complete shock.
It was so cathartic. In less than 15 minutes time, we learned that our baby was preserved and that we had escaped the mess that is chemo. It was a good day. A good, good day.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Clothe Yourselves...
It is not too uncommon for our family to enjoy a wonderful morning at church, you know, learning to be more Christ-like, but the moment we get in the car the lessons to which we have just nodded our heads over in eager agreement go out the window in favor of the fruits of the flesh:
"Knock it off, boys!"
"You're going to watch HOW MUCH football today?"
"I said, stop touching your brother!"
Argue. Argue. Selfish. Selfish. Me-me-me-me-me.
Well, today Ryan and I lead a portion of our church's Family Sunday School class. Our job was to lead songs and teach the group Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. You can guess, then, what our ride home from church was like. Well, actually you can't because something very different happened.
On a route we do not usually take, we were stopped at an intersection where a man with a cane, on the opposite side of the intersection, was trying to cross in the crosswalk. He walked with the severe limp of a stroke victim. Head down, his dissheveled white beard and hair kept us from seeing his face. His signal turned to the solid red hand, and he was just barely half way across. The cars waiting to turn left were stuck because he was directly in front of them. The man, in his panic, was trying in vein to keep moving forward but the harder he tried, the less cooperative his legs were. Though he was moving his legs at a furious pace, he hardly moved an inch forward. Everyone at the intersection just watched from their cars as the man struggled.
No, not everyone. My husband jumped out, jogged across the intersection ("What is dad doing? Where is dad going?" the kids asked.). The family - the whole intersection - watched Ryan kindly, compassionately and patiently take this man's arm with great dignity. "Let me help you, sir," I imagine he must have said. The man, Garrett, immediately responded and began to take normal strides and complete his walk across the street. I just sat there with profound admiration. I was astounded at the act. It is an act well within his (or anyone's) capacity, but it astounded me none-the-less. I just sat there, so thankful to the Lord that our boys could see their father demonstrate such Christ-like behavior.
Today Ryan was a living example to the kids of how we are to clothe ourselves: with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Awesome. Truly awesome.
"Knock it off, boys!"
"You're going to watch HOW MUCH football today?"
"I said, stop touching your brother!"
Argue. Argue. Selfish. Selfish. Me-me-me-me-me.
Well, today Ryan and I lead a portion of our church's Family Sunday School class. Our job was to lead songs and teach the group Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. You can guess, then, what our ride home from church was like. Well, actually you can't because something very different happened.
On a route we do not usually take, we were stopped at an intersection where a man with a cane, on the opposite side of the intersection, was trying to cross in the crosswalk. He walked with the severe limp of a stroke victim. Head down, his dissheveled white beard and hair kept us from seeing his face. His signal turned to the solid red hand, and he was just barely half way across. The cars waiting to turn left were stuck because he was directly in front of them. The man, in his panic, was trying in vein to keep moving forward but the harder he tried, the less cooperative his legs were. Though he was moving his legs at a furious pace, he hardly moved an inch forward. Everyone at the intersection just watched from their cars as the man struggled.
No, not everyone. My husband jumped out, jogged across the intersection ("What is dad doing? Where is dad going?" the kids asked.). The family - the whole intersection - watched Ryan kindly, compassionately and patiently take this man's arm with great dignity. "Let me help you, sir," I imagine he must have said. The man, Garrett, immediately responded and began to take normal strides and complete his walk across the street. I just sat there with profound admiration. I was astounded at the act. It is an act well within his (or anyone's) capacity, but it astounded me none-the-less. I just sat there, so thankful to the Lord that our boys could see their father demonstrate such Christ-like behavior.
Today Ryan was a living example to the kids of how we are to clothe ourselves: with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Awesome. Truly awesome.
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