Organization Ideas

I received an email from a dear friend about a year ago. I read it and then "organized it" into my email inbox. Clearly I need to actually heed some of the advice in this email because the helpful advice was lost all this time. For lack of a better place to put it, it lands here. Hope you find these tips (that I did not come up with, mind you) helpful. I can't wait to implement some of them!

(Ginger, maybe you could forward me the link to your friend's blog that gave you this help. I would like to give credit where credit is due.)

Here are a few tips that help keep the Rexine six-pack organized and working as a team.


* In the kitchen I keep five stacked paper trays each labeled with a name. Mom on top, Riley next and so on. When the kids get home from school, they unload papers for me into my bin and things like spelling words or weekend homework into their bins. We also store things like Valentine lists, school project information, and library books in their bins. My bin usually contains information on fieldtrips, school parties, school and sports pictures/schedules and other things that I need to remember FOR my kiddos. Brady's bin has a few coloring books and scratch paper so he can reach and do a "project" all on his own. He has learned to put everything away in his bin when he is finished and used paper goes into the recycling bin. He takes a lot of pride in doing this. I know you are a year or so away from all the homework, etc...but it may be helpful to get this system in place early. No searching for the missing library book or the dog ate my homework excuses.


* Four colored laundry baskets (labeled) on a cheap shelf in the garage. Kierstyn and Riley's on top, Julia and Brady on bottom. These contain all of their shoes. No more searching. They go in as soon as they come off.


* Four large printer paper boxes (labeled) to hold those special art projects/stories. When I have to put things in a box ( I am going to try to have only 1 per child for their entire school career) I am very choosey about what I save. I have 4 files in the file cabinet in which all questionable artwork goes into, and every 3 months or so I deposit the most precious into the printer paper boxes. The rest is discretely recycled.


* Large cork board hung vertically in the hallway. (I actually found an old picture at Goodwill, cut the picture out of the frame, hung the frame and filled the center with cork tiles.) Everyone can reach to put up those special drawings. When the board is full, some pictures have to come down in order to put others up. The kids chose one of their own to replace with a new one. They then put the old piece in my bin mentioned above. When I go through it, I put the special ones in their file, which will later go through the selection process with hopes of making the big box. See the process in action :)


* Book Basket Basics.....My children all LOVE books. We have a basket of book downstairs, 3 upstairs and even one in their bathroom. This helps keep a mess from being dragged from room to room. They also actually look at all the books, not just the same ones on the top.


* Laundry room....tubs for a garage sale. I keep masking tape and a sharpie in the laundry room. When items are too small and can no longer be passed down, I launder, mark and store them. I hate wasting time on handling items more then once. Every spring I have a garage sale and then use the money for the next seasons clothes. I don't feel overwhelmed, because everything has already been gone through and marked. All I have to do is pull it out and viola!


* Start those memories now.....Every year school year I save a pair of jeans from each child. I mark their name and grade (starting with preschool) and store in a tub. They will each get a quilt made out of their jean squares for graduation. A great way to use jeans that look worn or have holey knees. Some of the squares will contain pockets, others zipper and the girls have some pink jean in their collection.


*BINS BINS BINS..... I just love them. After Christmas, you can get them cheep. They may be red and green, but who cares. Plus they are easy to spot :) In our pantry I have one with games, one with easy bake oven ingredients, one with play - doh and one with puzzles/flash cards. It makes it very easy to find what we need and still organized. (I also stock up on Dollar store shower curtains. They make awesome mats for play-doh, cooking with the kids, shaving cream art, carving pumpkins. If I can clean them up great, if I don't have to...even better :)


* Next year Anessa will have to bring her own snack. On the weekend we make 5 labeled zip lock baggies for each kid for the week. Some sit in the pantry and others in the fridge (like carrots). It sure makes packing a snack much easier and what's good for one works for all. They can chose which one they want on which day.


*Plastic drinking glass drawer.....low cupboard right by the fridge. The kids can get their own glass of water. It's amazing how much time we spend getting drinks when in reality, with the right tools, most of them can do it themselves. If you don't have a water dispenser on the fridge, small sports bottles kept with water in the fridge work awesome.


*Chores...all of our kids have chores ( keep in mind...ours are older :))) They all make their own beds and pick up before they move onto the next activity. They all have daily chores, like making their beds, putting away their clothes, picking up toys. Riley helps clear the table, takes out the garbage and cleans the litter box. The girls empty the dishwasher, and fold laundry, and help set the table and Brady feeds the fish, and helps clear the table. I know family's that give allowances and it works well for them, but we really don't want out kids looking for a return being part of a family. They do, however, know that because they help out, it gives us much more "fun" time with them. A pedicure with pretty polish for the girls or tossing the ball with the boys is really what makes our kids the happiest. As your kids get older, the advantages of a large family really start to show themselves. We have grown into a wonderful team.


*Meals...I usually plan 2 large meat dishes and 3 leftover dishes. I.e. Ham dinner.....then scalloped potatoes and ham, and Hot ham and cheese melts or ham and bean soup. Chicken dinner....chicken pot pie, and chicken with penne pesto pasta. I do the big meals on Mon and Wed. and fill in with the leftovers. It really makes my meal planning a snap, not to mention I save a lot of $$$$. With our busy schedule, I usually put everything in the crock pot right after lunch and then when the 2:30 rush of children, snack and homework begin, I am prepared. I can relax into the afternoon routine still knowing that a great meal is on it's way.


* Laundry...1 light load and 1 dark load a day. I have 2 separate baskets, so everyone separates their own laundry when they drop it off. A colored basket for colors and a white basket for lights/whites. I wash during the day and then the girls and I sit and visit as we fold.....and our meal is cooking itself :)


* Breakfast....set the table for breakfast right before you go to bed. The kids love to come down to a ready to go table.....and SO DO I!!!


* Shoe Boxes.....The girls each have a shoe box of treasures under their bed. They got to decorate it with stickers and markers. This is where they put all of those things that really don't have a place and yet they don't want to get rid of. Birthday cards from Grandma, rock collection, glittery chap stick, beaver bravos etc. They are happy and I don't have to get anything caught in the vacuum cleaner.


*Stair basket or bag....Hangs on the banister or sits on the bottom step. This bag/basket (I love the reusable Fred Meyers box shaped bag) and gets filled with the collection of upstairs items that seems to walk downstairs throughout the day. I bring the bag up before bedtime and everyone is responsible for putting the items that belong to them away. If I need to ask them more than once, the bag is put away until the next day and they will not be allowed to play with the items within the bag. They will have another chance the following evening. Julia once had to go to dance without her ballet slippers and explain to teacher Tammy what happened. Needless to say.....it has never happen again. They have all learned the consequences and comply with a smile. I just love smiling :) :) :)


* And my final tip is cleaning aprons.....The girls and Brady love this....Riley is a little too cool at this point:) I found in-expensive aprons with pockets and stuffed them for cleaning day. A dust rag, a few paper towels, small water spray bottles with Windex, ponytail holder for the girls, and a plastic Freddie's bag which I loop through the tied belt for garbage. Turn on a little music and we are off on a mad yet fun cleaning spree. Brady is quite the baseboard duster.

additional tip from Ginger:
Another thing I've heard from a Megan, who runs a businss called Disorder 2 Order. She said, Horizontal is Hidden...Vertical is Visual. I had these ominous stacks on my desk of papers and 'stuff', and there would always be some bill that would inevitably get sucked in and lost at the bottom and we'd get a late fee on it. argh!! So she said sort things into one of three piles. To DO(bills,forms to be signed, etc), To READ(magazines, articles, research), and To FILE. So I got some cute pee-chees? sp? and a magazine holder thing and everything goes into one of those three folders. I have an extra folder for Anessa's artwork that keeps showing up everywhere. It's nice because it sets a limit: When the File, or Read folder gets full, I have to take care of it, it can't get any fatter. So I take it upstairs to the office and file away, or sit down and read and toss. It's nice because papers aren't being carried up one-by-one to get lost before they reach the office.

Hospitality?

I jsut read a friend's blog post about hospitality. She REALLY knows how to make you feel welcome, and I say that from experience. She also loves the process of preparing for guests. I admire that. Anyway, reading her post made me think of some advice I got once a few years back.

I don't know how hospitable this is, but this older friend of mine told me once that she used to scrub and polish the house to spic-and-span standards (tiring herself out in the process) for when the grandkids who live a couple hours away came to visit. She eventually realized that not only was she too tired to really enjoy the kids but also the dirt she so surrepeticiously scrubbed away was trekked in moments after they arrived. She would have to scrub and polish all over again as soon as they left. She decided from then on that before the kids came over she would "straighten" but not scrub. She now saves the scrubbing for when they leave. The notion absolutely blew my mind. You mean I could NOT spic-and-span my house before a bunch of people come over? Really?!?! I thought about all the times when I was too tired to actually enjoy gatherings at my house because I have worked so hard to get ready for them.

This paradigm shift was right up my alley.

So now you know a little secret about me. Next time you are at my house, feel free to notice the dirty floors. You can know that tomorrow (or maybe the next day), they will be clean. You should stop by then and see.

Now, aren't I hospitable?

All Set for September to Start

I am a bit embarrassed to admit it since it is nearing the end of October, but I am just now finally ready for school to start. Granted, my two school-aged kids have been attending school since they opened the doors September 4th but I have not organized myself until just now. Er, well, I guess I still have some organizing to do, but the one thing I really wanted to get set up is just now finally set up.

The chore and laundry schedule. (Insert scary "Psycho" music here, if you like.)

I had a GREAT one all set up for myself and the boys for the summertime, when they had all day to whittle away on their chores. But I knew it needed to be modified for the school year. The reality of soccer and school (oops, I have that backwards don't I!!) is that there are not as many minutes in the day for the boys to do their homework, have free playtime, read together, AND accomplish the healthy list of summer chores. Well, there is that time, I guess, but then there are no empty spaces in the day to have poignant conversations about life and God. And we can't afford to let that to be missed.

So a Fall Chore Schedule I did create. (High Five to me!) I will introduce it to the boys after school. They won't know what hit them.

The interesting thing I discovered in these past 7 weeks without a plan of action is that I tended to hand chores out on any given day based upon my level of frustration or stress. Frustration with my load, frustration with their arguing, stressed about meeting all the needs of the day, frustration with the incredible mess we lived in, frustration-stress-frustration.

We want our boys to be hard workers. We want our boys to be responsible. We want our boys to work diligently without complaining. I am pretty sure these past 7 weeks were not actually accomplishing that. I am pretty sure they were instead learning how to avoid them ("play quietly with your brother and she won't bother you").

I am thankful to have a plan again. It feels good to be unemotional and in control in this area (there are ENOUGH areas that I have little control with... more on that, perhaps, later). It is one less thing I have to expend energy on, that thing being thinking up the day's chores.

I have made a sheet that spells out each day's chores for each boy (and you will remember that my boys do their own laundry now...oh I have a funny story about that...). We chatted yesterday about what it really means to, for example, clean the bathroom or do your laundry. Expectations have been set. The boys highlighted their name everywhere they saw it. They taped the list to a place where they can see it. They know all about the "bonus reward" they can receive for accomplishing the chores well all week without complaining or reminders.

The other person being trained, here, is ME. I can now look at my piece of paper with MY chores on it and know what I need to accomplish today (and today only!) so that by the end of the week generally everything has been given the once-over. I am a quasi-perfectionist which means that if i don't think i can do it perfectly, I won't bother to do it (what's the point!). Having a week long plan helps me through the hurdle in my mind, allowing me to just be diligent in today's work knowing that the rest will take care of itself.

Let the training recommence!

A Sea of Stuffies and a Hoarder

I am a bit tired of picking up stuffed animals. One of my children has a real obsession with them. (Did you know boys could be like that? I didn't.) The animals seem to be having babies or something because they are multiplying.

To complicate this growing problem, that same child has recently entered a "please-please-please don't put it in the garbage" phase. Everything from scraps of paper to broken toys that are tossed in the trash is very disconcerting for him. A couple of nights ago he came out of his room (after being put to bed) with HUGE tears welling up in his sweet little eyes. What was the matter? He was very concerned about the tracing paper that his older brother had thrown away earlier that day. The paper was all drawn on and has served its purposes well and the artist himself had decided it was time to toss them. As far as I knew, my little hoarder never even knew the drawings existed until we went to throw it away. He came out of his room clutching the garbage can. I could see his panic rising.

Not that I want to always take to throwing everything away (that's wasteful), but it is nice to give things away, recycle, and, yes, toss. But to him, it is all the same: if it leaves the house to not return, it is painful. "Where is it going, Mom?" "Will it EVER come back?" "Where does the garbage truck take it?"

So with a child who can't part with trash, how am I to control the stuffed animal overpopulation and the mounting scraps of scribbled-on paper? Two words: NEGOTIATION (he is an incredible negotiator, BTW) and PERGATORY.

NEGOTIATION:
We lined up all his animals and I told him he could keep two of them and the rest would go "on vacation." (In our house, when a toy goes on vacation it is stored in a bin for a while and then later brought back out.) His eyes lit up knowing he would not lose anything. My little negotiator talked me into doubling the number of stuffed animals he could keep. Eh, I'm a pushover. Actually, I let him know that so long as he was able to manage all four and I was not always stepping over them or picking them up, four would be fine. (I have Diane Moore to thank for that idea.)

What my little sweetie does not know is that this vacation is really more of a PERGATORY. Today, while at his T-Ball game, I scoured the big boys' room. All the trinkets and junk and random collections and extra stuffed animals were sorted through. Much of it was placed in a big box that I marked PERGATORY. If either of my children say, "Mom, do you know where my ____ went?" I can say, "Hummmm, I will keep my eye out for it," and then pull the missed item out of the box a little later. But all THE OTHER not-so-missed items can stay put. At some point, I will trash/give away the contents of that box... when I am fairly certain it is safe to do so.

Honestly, I am "a tosser" and I would rather just send it to the curb right now but out of respect for my kids, I need to not just toss what might be precious to them. I will tread lightly (especially while my one child is in such a "keep it!!" phase) and recognize that while their things might not have value in my eyes, they are valuable in theirs. And that is enough reason to keep something around... for now.

My Cleaning Schedule

By request, I post my declutter/cleaning schedule!

To create this, I sectioned my house off into 5 zones and assigned each region a day
1. Monday - Living room, Hallway & Stairs
2. Wednesday - Bathrooms
3. Thursday - Kitchen, Dining room & Family Room
4. Friday - Playroom
5. Saturday - Bedrooms

On Tuesday (notice it is missing from above), I take care of laundry for the week and do miscellaneous chores. Sunday I don't have any chores assigned. The goal is to have that be a rest day, or at least a catch-up day if it was a crazy week.

I work part-time, plus my husband works late many nights so I need to have enough energy to put all the kids to bed when he can't be there so rather than try to clean it all in one week, I give myself two weeks. I also switch it up so that the harder chores (like mopping the floors in the living room) don't fall in the same week.

Lastly (and here is my favorite part), now that the kids are trained on how to do these things, the actual amount of time spent cleaning is about 30 minutes or significantly less. Not bad! Oh, and since you will see that I rely upon the kids quite a bit to help, the counter in the bathroom, for instance, is not perfectly wiped, nor is the mirror wiped perfectly clean. But that is not the point in inviting the kids in on this part of being a family.



WEEK ONE

Monday: LIVING ROOM, HALLWAY & STAIRS
"Sweep, Mop & Wipe Day"
Jackson - put up all toys, misc things in prep for vacuumming; wipe glass tables, sweep hallway
Davis - vacuum carpet, sweep stairs and landing
Mom - Mop hallway, stairs & landing


Tuesday: LAUNDRY
"Laundry Day & Misc Chores"
Jackson & Davis - empty all trash cans, sort/put away kids clean laundry, round up and put away all outside toys
Mom - Laundry & misc chores or catch-up on cleaning that got missed


Wednesday: BATHROOMS
J - wipe sinks & counters
D - wipe toilets, bring in garbage and recycling bins from curb
M - scrub tub & sweep/mop floors in main bath


Thursday: KITCHEN, DINING & FAMILY ROOM
"Declutter & Dust Day"
J - dust TV stand
D - dust bookshelf
M - clear off kitchen hot spot, dust TV and high bookshelves, declutter
All - clean windows


Friday: PLAYROOM
"Dust & Declutter Day"
J - put toys away
D - sort toys into proper bins
M - declutter high shelves, sweep & dust


Saturday: BEDROOMS
"Change Sheets Day"
D&J - clear floor
All - strip beds
All - make beds


Sunday: REST!




WEEK TWO

Monday: LIVING ROOM, HALLWAY & STAIRS
"Declutter & Dust Day"
J - dust railing, sweep stairs & landing
D - put away toys, dust desk, window sills, fireplace & tables
M - declutter


Tuesday: LAUNDRY
"Laundry & Misc Chores"
D&J - empty all trash cans, sort & put away kids clean laundry, de-spiderweb porch/decks
M - laundry, sweep front porch &/or decks


Wednesday: BATHROOMS
J - wipe toilets
D - wipe sinks & counters, bring in recycle bins
M - Scrub shower, sweep & wipe floors in master bath


Thursday: KITCHEN, DINING & FAMILY ROOM
"Sweep & Mop Day"
J - pick up all toys, socks, shoes, etc (prep for mopping)
D - Sweep under all chairs
M - sweep & mop


Friday: PLAYROOM
"Dust & Vacuum Day"
D&J - pick up toys and put in proper bins
M - dust and vacuum


Saturday: BEDROOMS
"Dust and Declutter Day"
J - Pick up toys on floor, wipe window sills
D - put away toys on shelves (i.e. declutter shelves), dust shelves & dresser
M - declutter & dust master bedroom, little kids' rooms


Sunday: REST!


Did you read all the way down to here? Wow! I'm impressed! If you are drowning in clutter in your home, check out flylady.net for some amazing tips.

Type-A and Loving It!

If there is one thing that has really changed in my life after adding my forth wonderful bundle of boy-joy, it is in the realm of time-management. I do have so much that MUST happen in a week(feeding the family, throwing laundry into machines, etc.), and so much that SHOULD get done (list appears below), and so much that I DESIRE to do (read to the kids, blog, etc.).

Maybe it is the same at your house as it is in mine: you get your "must's" done and you get your "desires" done, but the "shoulds" fall to the way-side - unless you are really on top of things. A short list of my Shoulds: mopping the floor, cleaning out the car, decluttering "that one spot" in the kitchen, mailing an encouraging note, putting laundry away, meal planning for next week, scrubbing the shower... you know... stuff that you can get away with not doing, but feels great to do (or at least feels great once its done).

So to fit it all in I have made three modifications to my life. And believe it or not, I love every one of them (even the first one!).

1. I wake up most mornings at 5:15AM. I know. I can't believe it myself. But what I REALLY can't believe is that I LIKE IT. I get a workout in, spend some time with the Lord, and shower all before my kids are up. I have tried on many occasions to get up before the kids so that I can have an uninterrupted quiet time. It has been seven years of intermittent trying and giving up. And this time - IT IS WORKING! It is a major victory for me. I will save you the details going on in my brain about this subject, but suffice it to say I have Joy to thank for making me see that getting up early is something you can learn. And it is a learned skill. For some reason, that clicked for me. Maybe I will blog about that some other day.

2. I created a two-week cleaning chart. If my boys and I do the 15-25 minutes of cleaning listed for that day and we do it every day for two weeks, the house stays clean and relatively clutter-free. This is a very new addition to our lives (we are finishing up our first two-week cycle this weekend), but so far it has been great. I have the kind of personality when it comes to cleaning that is best described as "all or nothing." If I don't think I can do it perfectly, I don't have any motivation to do it. And when was the last time I had 5 hours of uninterrupted time to clean the house top to bottom (ugh - that sounds dreadful!)? About 7.5 years ago. And way back then I had a list of other excuses as to why I couldn't keep a clean house. Anywho, this little chart breaks it down so that I don't feel defeated or overwhelmed at the thought of cleaning the entire house because I don't have to clean the whole house today...I just need to sweep and mop the floors.

3. I have a little list in my kitchen that reminds me to do a few things every night before I go to bed, like take tomorrow's meat out of the freezer and make school and work lunches. The list also reminds me to fold laundry on Wednesday nights and meal plan/make my grocery list on Monday nights. And it is on that little list that it says for Friday nights, "BLOG!!"

So, if you are looking for a good excuse to increase your neurosis and want to polish up on your ability to make an astute list, increase the number of children you are raising. It worked for me! But honestly, I am really enjoying increasing my homemaking skills. I like being (or attempting to become) excellent at my job!

WFMW - All Cut Up

This is not rocket science, but it sure is helpful - especially on those days that I don't think about dinner until we are already hungry but there is no meat defrosted yet.

Once a month I buy our chicken (I buy it fresh, not frozen) and when I do I take several of the pieces and cut them up into strips or cubes. I put enough strips or cubes into one bag to feed the family for two nights (leftovers are priceless, no?). I label the bags with helpful information and lay the bags flat in the freezer.

Guess what that makes? Chicken that thaws quickly and is easy and ready to throw into the pan for all sorts of dishes (think chicken fajitas, taco soup, and burittos... I bet you have more creative ideas than my mexican rut affords me).

I also like to do this same but freeze them with marinades in there. Our family favorite is terriaki sauce.

p.s. the scissors are in the picture because i thought it would be easier to cut the chicken with the shears instead of a knife. I was wrong. A knife is so much easier.

Recipe: California Chicken Salad

I have never posted any recipes on my blog, but in honor of my sister's totally cool, to completely inspirational website, I have done this post. She is having a giveaway (Starbucks Coffee beans) to the person who submits the yummiest or prettiest or something-iest recipe and picture. I, of course, am not eligible for the award, but I thought it would be fun to participate anyway. Just zip on over to her site and check it out for yourself!

Salad:

1/2 - 1 cup cooked, thinly sliced and chilled chicken breasts

1/2 small cantelope, pared, seeded and thinly sliced

1 cup shredded lettuce

1/2 medium avacado, pared and thinly sliced

Dressing:

dash of pepper

1 tsp lime juice

1 tsp minced cilantro

2 Tbsp mild chunky salsa*

2 Tbsp plain lowfat yogurt

Onto each of two individual plates, arrange half of the lettuce. Decoratively arrange half of the chicken, cantelope and avacado over lettuce. In small bowl combine remaining ingredients and stir to combine. Spoon over salad.

*I used a mango peach salsa this time instead of traditional salsa. It was super yummy!

So How Do YOU Do It?

I get cranky when clutter piles up. I wish I could claim to be such a neat-freak that clutter just doesn't happen in this house. But truth-be-told, clutter is part of my life. My kitchen counters are the biggest clutter-collector, followed closely by my dining room table (no fun to set the table for dinner when I must start with finding places for everything that collected on the table). Next in line is our "phone table," my desk and, well, basically any elevated horizontal surface.

The good news is that over the years I have found a variety of ways to combat it. I thought I would share my tips and let you share yours, too.

1. Never start a new project until the current one is totally done and put away. (That includes starting another load of laundry before the clean, dry load is folded and put away.) Teach your kids to only make one mess at a time, too.
2. Throw stuff away. Ever done a "27 fling boogie?" walk quickly around your house with a plastic grocery sack and put 27 things in it that belong in the trash.
3. Put toys with a zillion pieces up and out of reach so you can control when (or if) they come down.
4. Do the dinner dishes and wipe down the counters every night so you awaken to a fresh start every day.
5. Do a "that doesn't belong" run. Walk around your cluttery spots and fill your hands with things that don't belong (stop when your hands are full) and then go put each item away. Do that once or twice and call it good until tomorrow. This works really well when you only have a moment and you are just totally overwelmed at the thought of even attempting to de-clutter.

So those are my top five. How do YOU deal with the constant barrage of clutter coming at you?

It's What You DON'T Smell...

Our bathrooms are about to get a little less stinky. If you have boys, listen up!! Home Depot (and probably Lowe's et al) carries these toilet seats that are removable for easy cleaning. The whole lid and seat portion comes off the toilet and you can rinse the "hard to reach places" in hot running water in your sink or bathtub.

I installed these great toilet seats in our previous house but have lived in our current house a whole year before FINALLY making the HUGE purchase (yes, all of $9.97 each).

One word of warning: when you remove the old toilet seat (something I was able to do all by myself!) be prepared to be totally disgusted. The urine collection in those two hinge holes is impressive in all the wrong ways.

"I'm Not a Perfectionist..."

"...I just like things a certain way."

Bologna.

I heard a very wise woman speak today and she noted briefly about the woahs of her past perfection. My ears perked a bit. Before I go on I have to be a bit more accurate about myself, here (because that's what perfectionists in messy houses must do), I am not super super perfectionistic but I have these tendencies. (My husband is rolling his eyes now but I am pretending he just misunderstood my meaning.)

She said two really good things that I must record for posterity:

1. If you are so focused on results and go around re-doing what your children have done (refold the towel, re-sweep under the table, straighten up the not-quite-clean-enough-for-my-liking room, repositioning the silverware they set at the table) we rob our children of initiative. Why should they try when their "good enough" is not good enough? I will go a step further and say that we steal away their hope, too. Our kids want desperately to please us, even when they don't show it. And every time we pull out our perfectionism card, we have dashed their hope of pleasing us. So, again, why try. Knife to my heart!!

2. The second thing she said is that people stop helping perfectionists and instead heap more on them because they see them as ultra efficient at what they do. It is so true that people stop helping. I think the other reason that (husbands) stop helping is that we let them know our displeasures. I was tempted to exercise that principal (but did not) a few weeks ago when, in the morning I saw that the pan FULL of cooked vegetables from dinner the night before that I was planning on eating for lunches that week did not get put away after dinner. It took me only a moment (thanks to 10 years of learning how to be a decent wife) to recall how thankful I was that he HAD put all the other dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned all the other pots and pans. I shudder to think that a handful of years ago (or during any given pregnancy, Lord help us) that I would have "casually" brought it up to him. I decided I would rather throw away yucky veggies and have help again on another night. Good choice, girl. (And, no, that is not a pic from my house. Just a random google image.)

Now I will add my little two cents on the subject but this is about my son, who I see has the propensity to follow in my footsteps. He likes things perfect, and struggles when he can't get it just right. So it is all the more critical that I on-purpose show him that the definition of perfect is not "doing everything right." The definition of perfect is "complete in Christ." Everything else, for my perfectionist son, is "good enough." How fun is it that I get to influence him in that way (and how thankful will his free-spirited wife be!).

WFMW - Schedule THIS.

If you have ever wished (to no avail) that you could create a "way we do things" and a "when we do things" with the kids, this post is aimed at you.

To start with, some minds are made for creating systems and order. For example, they love coming up with spreadsheets that detail out every hour of their day. Other brains were created to maintain an existing system or order. Give them that pre-made spreadsheet and they go to town!

However, Ask a systems-creator to actually maintain their brilliant system and you might find that they are all gusto in the first week, and then quickly peeter out, unable to keep up with the demands of their awesome way of doing something. Furthermore, ask a natural-born "maintainer" to come up with a brilliant system for making the day go (albeit theoretically) smooth like silk and you might find her eyes welling up with tears because the task seems insurmountable. The bottom line here is that most of us stink at order, though we all long for it.

So might I suggest a gentler way to "schedule" your day with your preschool kiddos.

• First, find a fixed point in your day that pretty much happens whether the sky falls or not. How about lunchtime.
• Next, decide on something that you would like to see happen every day, like picking up toys before naptime. If your brain works like mine, it gets all excited and goes crazy at this step, so let yourself dream about the wonderful things you could accomplish with your kids if there was a schedule, but then hold back and PACE YOURSELF!
• Talk about it with your kids. Say, "starting Monday, we are going to..."
• Start super slow. Finish the sentence you started above with, "...spend 5 minutes picking up our toys," even if you know it would really take a solid 15-30 minutes.
• Add chunks of time or tasks as the weeks progress. "Starting on Valentines Day we are going to spend 10 minutes picking up the toys." Then, "Starting in March we are going to keep working until the whole place is clean!"
• Continue to build around that fixed point. "Spring Break is coming, kids" (like your preschoolers have any idea, but you get my drift, right?) "and starting then we are going to do one chore each day before lunchtime."
• Stay positive and fun. Make games out of things as they adjust to the demands of the schedule. If one day is a disaster, focus on what did get done and start fresh tomorrow.

Now, I don't care if your house is clean before naptime or if your kids are doing chores, but can you see how I am building around a fixed point (lunch), and doing things in small increments in order to create a routine? You are not overwhelmed at the task of maintaining something impossible, and the kids are not overwhelmed by a sudden major shift in their day. This is also a great way to establish a bedtime routine, get kids ready in the morning, accomplish homeschooling tasks (I might imagine), establishing a quiet time when naps are no longer part of the day, or...

I have been working off of this principle since January 1, 2008. I started super small, like I described, with just '4 minutes of reading the Bible after lunch.' Now it is early February and the kids and I have sucessfully added the following things to our after-lunch-and-when-mommy-gets-home-from-work routine:

• Recycle the under the sink pile
• Feed the cat
• Pick up the baby toys that the (now napping) baby pulled out that morning
• Do one extra chore, for example laundry (I have to think ahead on that one and write in on my kitchen dry-erase board the night before or during breakfast.)
• Read a couple pages in The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes.
• Practice our weekly verse (supplied for us by our Sunday School class)
• 40 minutes of Bible Quiet time (even the baby participates in this: I place him in his crib with lots of toys, binkis, and his favorite CD...we have been slowly working up to this with him!)
• A quick snack
• And then the big reward: 30 minutes of some beloved show we have TiVoed (one of these days I think I will post something on the virtures of digital video recorders).

The kids then play (usually quite happily) until dinner time. Granted, that hour can still be a bewitched one, with tempers on the edge and tears-a-plenty. The only thing I have found that works here every time is an earlier dinner, a spoil-your-dinner healthy snack, or TV (lame!). Got any ideas on that one?

For more great tips and other Works For Me Wednesdays, visit Rocks In My Dryer.

WFMW - Easier Meal Planning

It's another Works for Me Wednesday! This is not rocket science here, but a simple tip to make meal planning a little easier.
First,
grab a piece of paper and write down all the meals you can think of that your family loves to eat. Then write down all the meals you enjoy cooking. Tack the list up on the fridge and add to it throughout the week.
Then,
the day before you grocery shop, pull your list down and use it to create your menu and grocery shopping list for the week. (Tack that menu on your fridge for easy daily reference.) When I am not pregnant or in another sort of season of stress/exhaustion, I try to cook one new recipe per week. As I discover new recipes that are a hit with the family, I add them to my quick reference list on my fridge.

For more great WFMW ideas on all sorts of things, visit rocks in my dryer. And for a cute little essay I wrote on the subject, click here.

Corn & Toast, Anyone? (Meal Planning 101)

(Another installment in a series of articles you probably read a Mom to Mom newsletter of yesteryear.)

One of the best wifely tasks I do every week is plan the dinner meals. Now, I know what you are thinking because I thought it too: “Ugh. Why would I want to take the time to do that?!?! I dread cooking dinner enough as it is!

For six long years of marriage, I, too, resisted planning a weekly dinner menu, preferring instead (oddly enough) the hungry-stomach, blank-stare-into-the-freezer nightly ritual. Nothing sounds quite right when you are starving – except of course take-out. I would open the freezer then close the freezer, open the fridge then close the fridge. Sigh. Then open the freezer once more only to close it again, more quickly this time. Then walk to the food pantry, stare at the random selection of cans and wish, in vain, that mealtime inspiration would hit. But the truth of the matter is I am not —and never will be — an inspired cook.

As I stared night after night, year after year, into my fridge, freezer, and pantry, the process never got easier. In fact, it got more difficult because I had kids. Frequent trips to the grocery store with kids were more trouble than they were worth, and the kids were hungry even sooner than I was.

Further impetus for planning a dinner menu was a comment a dear friend said to me: “I only go to the grocery store once a week. If we run out of something, that’s just too bad.” I was flabbergasted at what I thought might be indignation. In truth, the reason she could say that and not regularly feed her family a can of corn and toast is because she had planned for the whole week already. I considered all the last-minute trips to the high-end grocery store nearest my house that I make in a month (our checkbook tells no lies) and decided to start planning our meals.

Becoming a “once-a-week-Winco” girl I now sit down at the table with my recipe books, grocery list, a thick piece of paper (my menu) and a pen. I write the days of the week down the side of the menu and glance at the family calendar to see what I have written in it that pertains to meals (going over to the in-laws Saturday night, date night Tuesday, snacks for Women’s Bible Study Wednesday, etc) and I write that down on the days they apply.

Inspiration via cookbooks I find main dishes that are simple and sound good and write them on the menu, along with the book name and page number that the recipe came from. I go through the ingredients list and record what I need to buy at the store, filling in the side dishes as I go. HINT: Don’t forget to account for leftovers! If you make lasagna for Wednesday, write “leftovers” on Thursday – make sure the family knows that you did not intend for the whole meal to be devoured in one sitting.

Baby steps When I first started, I committed to cooking a new recipe one or two days a week because our family needed to change what we were eating. I have three recipe books that I primarily cook from. I use them because they contain relatively simple recipes and the family nearly always likes them. Often I use just one book for any given week to keep things simple. On the days I was not trying something new, I cooked old stand-bys.

Save the menu! I post my menu on the fridge (amidst the sea of colored alphabet letters and family photos) and refer to it all week. At the end of the week, don’t throw it out! I keep all my week’s menus, because they come in handy again (say in about four weeks)!
Create a cheat sheet. One final superb thing to do: start making a list of dinner ideas that you enjoyed cooking and your family liked. Post the list - with the cookbook name and page number next to it – on the fridge for easy reference. I also underline the type of meat that it takes, again, for easy reference.

How long does it take? Well, a better question is, “How long did it used to take?” I used to agonize every day about what I will cook for at least an hour. Now, my planning takes less than ½ hour a week, and my think time each evening is zero. I just look, and cook!

All corniness aside, what I really like about planning our menu is that it requires thoughtful consideration for my family – especially my husband. I know what I am cooking will please him because I thought about that when I selected the meal earlier in the week. In the end, the whole family benefits because I took a little time to plan!

For other meal-planning tips visit the newly updated Seriousmoms.com.

WFMW - Laundry

This is yet another ridiculously simple contribution to the "Works For Me Wednesday" file. Simply put, I don't do my kids laundry. (But I do supervise their adept efforts!)

I have been training my boys (AGES 6 and 3) how to do their own laundry from start to finish. One or the other (or both) has learned how to:

• carry or drag laundry baskets downstairs to the laundry room
• sort clothes into darks and lights
• set and start the washing machine and dryer
• add the appropriate amount of soap/dryer sheets
• transfer clothes from one machine to another
• sort laundry into "ownership piles"
• put their own clothes away

Do note that I never mentioned anything about folding laundry. That is because I have decided that you don't really need to fold shirts and jeans. We hang church shirts that ought to be hung, but everything else just fits into appropriate drawers - unfolded. The time saved from not requiring folding is astounding, and honestly, this is my favorite part of my WFMW.

Someday, I imagine, my Type A child will prefer to have his clothes unwrinkled and will eagerly master the steps to a perfectly folded shirt, but my "more creative child" will likely always see wrinkles as a delightful part of a shirt's design. For that child, I will be pleased that the clothes make it off the floor and into a drawer.

It took several months of training each task individually, and it will take several more months before the whole thing will be done unsupervised but what we have going right now WORKS FOR ME!

WFMW - Winco Shopping List

Well, I have a tool that I have been using for a couple of years. It is a blank shopping list for the devoted Winco shopper like myself. Each section is for a different aisle of the store, and it goes top to bottom, left to right in the order that I shop, starting with produce, through meats & cheeses, to dairy, then back and forth through the non-perishable goods aisles. It sure makes shopping quicker and I rarely need to backtrack through the store because I forgot something.

I wanted to attach the file in a pdf but I can't figure out how to do it yet. So, if you want it, email me at jenne @ armworks . net and I will send it to you.

Happy Wednesday, ladies!

UPDATE: Thanks to Brenda, my list is posted on her site. you can get to it by clicking here.

Fly Lady Reflections

I just love the Fly Lady. She taught me so much about keeping my house a home. If you have never done the Fly Lady thing, hop on over to her website and check it out. It is for those of us that are overwhelmed by the task of keeping the house tidy. It is for those of us who need three days notice before houseguests come (so that we can get 36 hours worth of babysitting and do nothing but scrub and declutter top to bottom). It is for those of us that are perfectionists at heart, but instead of keeping a perfect house, we see that there is no way we can be perfect, so we give up before we start - and the house ends up in shambles.

Seriously, what would it be like to hear a knock at the door and actually WELCOME that guest in without ten thousand apologies for the mess and clutter and grime in this corner and that hallway.

When piles are sprouting legs and you think you will never see the surface of that table, FLY LADY TO THE RESCUE! I think my favorite idea from the FLy Lady is her "27-Fling Boogie" where you go around your house once a day with a plastic grocery sack on your wrist and look for 27 things to throw away. Oh, and the other wonderful thing I learned from Fly Lady is how to identify and keep on top of "Hot Spots" in your house. These are the places that, no matter what, always end up with a junk pile. Once you identify what those hot spots are, you do a "hot spot patrol," taking 10-15 minutes to put away the things that have collected there so far that week/day/hour. My current hot spots (that need my attention right now, by the way) are
1. the counter next to the telephone,
2. the dining room table,
3. the top of Ryan's dresser (he may use the drawers, but I still use the top),
4. and the spot in my office just to the left of my printer/fax/copier.

I just might go set my timer right now for 15 minutes and attack those bad boys. Or I might watch my TiVo'ed episode of The Office. You know, we all have our priorities.